Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, people spend their money on products and treatments that helps them to look younger. Some people believe that using such products help develop confidence and self esteem. However, some individuals argue that people should not waste impulsive money on these certain beauty treatments as it may affect their body in a negative way.

One of the main reason of using such products is that it can helps people to look attractive and younger. Nowadays, people gone through various surgeries to change their body parts. Moreover, they are willing to consume money on expensive body serums, pills to eliminate wrinkles and blemishes on the face. Thus, it helps people to become more confident and happier. For example, many actresses consult with their doctors for the surgeries to enhance their face features and body parts, because they want to stay in the film industry for a long period of time.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks associated with this trend. One of them is wastage of hard earned money. People tend to spend a large amount of their income on surgeries, which might sometimes affect their body badly and result in cardio diseases. For instance, a press report was printed in 2024, in which they claim that over 70 percent of people suffer from heart related diseases due to the use of strong products and treatments. So, people should consider a negative side carefully before making a decision.

In conclusion, although such kinds of treatments and products have numerous advantages, but we cannot ingnore the negative side. I believe that people should focus on their diet and daily exercise rather than relying on convenient ways to look younger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using products and treatments to look younger, ultimately presenting a clear personal position in the conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant, covering benefits such as increased confidence and drawbacks like financial cost and health risks. However, some arguments are under-developed or supported by unconvincing examples, such as the claim that 70 percent of people suffer from heart-related diseases due to strong beauty products. While the prompt asks for relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience, the statistical claim here lacks realistic grounding. Despite this slight over-generalisation and weak support, the overall response successfully engages with the prompt and meets the core requirements of Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear structure divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'One of the main reason', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'Thus, it helps people...' lacks a smooth logical bridge from the previous sentence, and there are minor issues with referencing pronouns. Despite these mechanical flaws, the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and topical phrases such as 'beauty treatments', 'enhance their face features', and 'hard earned money'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations throughout the text. Examples include 'helps them to look younger' (subject-verb agreement error with 'helps'), 'waste impulsive money', 'consume money', and 'ingnore' (spelling error). These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a limited precision in word choice that prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures such as concessive clauses ('Although such kinds of treatments and products have numerous advantages, but we cannot ingnore...'). However, the essay contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('treatments that helps', 'one of the main reason... is that it can helps') and verb forms ('people gone through', 'cannot ingnore'). There is also a redundant conjunction error in the concluding sentence ('Although... but...'). While these errors are noticeable and detract from the overall fluency, the meaning remains generally clear and communication is rarely impeded.

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