Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this modern world, people can choose from wide range and products and medical treatments designed to make them look younger. There are both merits and demerits of this situation , which will will elaborated in essay citing relevant examples.
Discussing the advantages of products and treatments that improve appearance, the significant is that, it can increase people's self confidence. This means, many people insure about their face, age and beauty so, that this products and treatments will provide them a confidence about their body appearance. For example, as per survey 80% to 90% women use skin care products, dental treatments and certain non-surgical procedures may help individuals fell more comfortable with their appearance. Furthermore, beauty industries provides consumers with more choices than in the past. In other words, many multination companies and brands launched many products for enhance and protect their beauty to manage the natural ageing process.
On contrary, there are drawbacks too. To initiate with, some cosmetics treatments can be expensive and may carry health risks, particularly when they are performed by unqualified practitioners. This means, many skin care and anti-aging products are very costly and some surgeries and treatments procced by unprofessional person. For instance, as per the report of INDIA majority of women done their multiple treatments in salon instead of done by a dermatologist or specialise doctor. Moreover, the increasing popularity of anti-ageing products may create unrealistic expectations about appearance. This is to say, some people may become dissatisfied with their looks and feel stress to maintain a youthful appearance. which will negative impact on society.
To conclude, there are few demerits such as over price product and treatment conduct by unauthorised people. and wrong assumption about treatments and products negative impact on society but there are many merits like it will provides self satisfaction and confidence however, many successful brands provides wide choice of products and solutions for beauty.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of products and treatments designed to make people look younger, and provides a clear concluding position. Ideas are generally well developed, such as explaining how increased self-confidence arises from treatments, and detailing financial costs and health risks like unqualified practitioners in salons. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize slightly, and certain supporting examples are expressed with minor conceptual awkwardness, placing this securely at Band 6.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear logical organisation with a traditional introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct themes. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On contrary', and 'To initiate with' are employed to signpost relationships between ideas, though referencing is occasionally faulty, and some transition phrases feel mechanical or awkward, such as 'which will will elaborated in essay'. Overall arrangement is coherent and progression is clear throughout, meeting Band 6.5 criteria.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'non-surgical procedures', 'unqualified practitioners', and 'unrealistic expectations'. However, there are noticeable word-choice errors, grammatical infelicities, and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'wide range and products', 'the significant is that', 'insure about their face', and 'over price product'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures. However, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors are present throughout the essay, such as 'which will will elaborated in essay', 'so, that this products', 'beauty industries provides', 'treatments procced by unprofessional person', and missing punctuation before coordinating conjunctions. These frequent errors occasionally strain the reader, though the meaning remains decipherable, corresponding to a Band 5.5 performance.
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