Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is an undeniable fact that people spend a huge amount on treatments and products to look younger. These days, it is feasible for people to purchase anti-ageing creams or spend on treatments like skin lifting that help them to look younger. From my perspective, it is not recommended because it harms the skin in the long run. In the paragraphs below, I would like to put forth my views with a valid opinion in the conclusion.

To begin with, many people are pursuing their careers in fields where it is a necessity to look good. Therefore, they need to take the utmost care of their face, resulting them in excessive use of products such as harmful make-up and chemical creams. For instance, actors and actresses in their 50s still look like being 30. Apparently, sometimes the casting requires actors who look fresh and young. Furthermore, looking younger gives them an opportunity to work and earn more. Because of this scenario, dermatologists are in high demand. Although the treatment costs a lot of money, medical advancement has made it possible for people to look younger than their actual age.

However, we seldom give a thought to ponder over the other side of the story. Most importantly, the excessive usage of chemical-filled creams and products leads to severe diseases like skin cancer. Scientists have concluded many times that it is very normal for skin to get loose with age because, naturally, the skin has elasticity, and as the muscle tissue ages, it loses elasticity. Furthermore, such treatments, where excess skin gets removed and the skin is lifted up, disturb the natural phenomena of skin. On the other hand, a cleanup facial to remove the dead skin cells can rejuvenate the structure of skin.

The seemingly inexorable debate about products and treatments that help to look younger can keep on going. Nevertheless, showing deep reverence for all aspects and observing a finer nuance of the matter mentioned above, I espouse the notion of supporting the fact that people should not disturb the natural phenomena of their bodies and let the skin grow older because it is meant to be. Love the body and accept it as it is; otherwise, they can end up being diagnosed with a major illness if tried to disturb it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position that anti-ageing products and treatments are a bad thing because they disturb natural bodily processes and carry health risks. The writer develops ideas across the body paragraphs, explaining why some individuals feel compelled to look younger, such as career demands in the entertainment industry, while also discussing the potential health consequences like skin cancer. The position is maintained consistently throughout the essay, though the concluding paragraph tends to rely on slightly repetitive phrasing rather than introducing new synthesis. Overall, the task is well handled and meets the criteria for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear overall progression and is logically organised into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the reasons for pursuing these treatments versus the negative consequences. Cohesive devices are employed reasonably well, with transition phrases like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'However'. However, some referencing and cohesive phrasing feel a bit mechanical or awkward, such as 'resulting them in excessive use' and 'the seemingly inexorable debate', which pulls the score to a Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'dermatologists', 'elasticity', 'rejuvenate', and 'inexorable'. There are some attempts at less common lexical items, but occasional inaccuracies occur in word choice and collocation, such as 'look like being 30' instead of 'look as though they are in their 30s' and 'disturb the natural phenomena of skin' rather than 'processes'. Spelling is accurate throughout, and communication is never impeded, placing the lexical control firmly at Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses, demonstrating a fair range. Good control is shown in sentences such as 'Although the treatment costs a lot of money, medical advancement has made it possible...' However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'resulting them in excessive use' (resulting in) and 'if tried to disturb it'. Punctuation is generally sound, and despite these persistent minor errors, the meaning remains clear throughout, warranting a Band 6.5.

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