Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the past few decades, the cosmetic industry is increasingly becoming an inseparable part of individual lifestyle with the advancements in modern technology. People, especially women, are urged to do plastic sergeries and other treatments in order to look attractive. Personally, I opine that this phenomenon has both pros and cons.

Fast fashion has significantly influenced the way everyone appear. Due to the availability of multiple beauty products and other related treatments, public has gained considerable benefits from it. Firstly, handsome personality provides a spike in personal confidence of individuals, which, in fact, is reflected from their transformed bodylanguage, particularly at work. What is more, since the advertisement industry is always looking for a perfect candidate with exceptionally attractive looks, there are more job opportunities available for common people. Furthermore, those who feel ugly and consequently become introverts can ungergo medical surgeries and completely change how they appear.

Moving onto the opposite side, although such treatments has a potential to result as a game changer by completely changing the personality, it can be detrimental as well due to its harmful side-effects. Evidentally, it has been seen that many celebrities who had previously done cosmetic plastic surgies are now suffering from adverse health related affects. Moreover, the personal care and beauty products are usually not affordable and put a major impact on finance. In addition, this habit cospiciously fade the natural beauty over time and might develop fake personality rather than enhancing it.

In conclusion, based on the aforementioned reasoning, I would like to reiterate my perspective that in spite of growing demand of beaty products and tretments, it also has some demerits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of using cosmetic products and treatments to look younger. The writer takes a clear position in the introduction ('Personally, I opine that this phenomenon has both pros and cons') and maintains it throughout. Ideas are extended and supported, such as mentioning increased self-confidence, better job opportunities, and potential health risks. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise or under-develop certain points, such as the mention of 'fast fashion' which is somewhat misplaced when discussing cosmetic treatments. Despite this minor tangent, the core requirements of the task are met well, aligning closely with the Band 6.5 to Band 7 descriptors. Overall, the task response is clear and fully relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'Firstly', 'What is more', 'Furthermore', and 'Moving onto the opposite side'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or formulaic. For instance, the transition 'Fast fashion has significantly influenced the way everyone appear' abruptly introduces a new paragraph without smoothly connecting to the preceding sentence about cosmetics. Overall arrangement remains coherent, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, making this a solid Band 6 performance in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'inseparable part', 'game changer', and 'conspicuously'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors that occur throughout the text, including 'sergeries' (surgeries), 'ungergo' (undergo), 'Evidentally' (Evidently), 'surgies' (surgeries), 'cospiciously' (conspicuously), 'fade' (fades), 'beaty' (beauty), and 'tretments' (treatments). While these lexical errors and spelling mistakes do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The writer has sufficient vocabulary to convey their arguments, but better proofreading is required to elevate the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures (e.g., 'People, especially women, are urged to do plastic sergeries and other treatments in order to look attractive'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the cosmetic industry is increasingly becoming... treatments has a potential', 'public has gained', 'habit cospiciously fade') and tense/form slips ('who had previously done cosmetic plastic surgies'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and meaning is rarely obscured, but the accumulation of grammatical inaccuracies places the writing securely within the Band 6 category.

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