Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently it has been observed that a large part of gloal population has been granted an easy access to the surgeries and the cosmetics that makes them look below their real age and makes them look fit and younger than they are. According to me this is definitely a postive development which will be discussed with the relevant examples in below paragrpahs.

The first thing that i woud like to hilghlight is its been a basic human tendency that as soon as one receives any positive compliments about about their physical apperance they tend to feel more confident. According to a research published by the Harvard university of Boston, they found the evidences of lip filler surgeries and the jaw enchancement in the rremains of egyptian mummies some hundered years ago. The reason i added this example ois even in medieval times people used to have these surgries that changed their pgsucial appearance so that they can look more confident and can command a great empire.So it can be surely linked that these products or treatment that changes the physical appreance fo a person gives them a boost in their self estemm and they can command a greter respect in society.

There is also tremendous economic benefits because of tremendous demand for cosmetics . As per the trade journal the cosmetic industry has grown by neary ten fold in last decade and had generated more than 10 million job opportunities wordwide. This is mainly because a large number of people who are in in their mid thirties and forties are getting infleunced by smooth and shiny skin of koreans wich they claim is because they take these anti aging pills which makes them look younger. The total industry revenue for has been predicted at around 130 billion dollars so it definately have plenty of ecnomic benefits.

In conclusion , I strongly believe that he economic benefits the indsutry has given and the bost in confidence that these products or surguries gives to a common person is for sure a poitive trend that we are observing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that the availability of anti-aging products and treatments is a positive development. The student supports this stance with arguments regarding self-esteem, confidence, and economic benefits. However, some arguments lack deep development and contain minor historical inaccuracies, such as claiming ancient Egyptians used lip fillers and jaw enhancements to command empires. Despite these unusual historical examples, all parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is maintained throughout. This performance aligns well with the requirements for a Band 6.5, but rounding to the official scale places it safely at Band 6.0 due to limited depth in development and some over-generalised claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into four distinct paragraphs with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Logical progression is generally maintained, moving from individual psychological benefits to broader economic impacts. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical, as seen in transitions like 'The first thing that i woud like to hilghlight is its been a basic human tendency...'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct themes, but referencing and transitional phrases can be repetitive or awkward. Overall, the structural arrangement is coherent enough to earn a Band 6.0, reflecting a logical overall progression despite minor mechanical issues in cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'substantive demand', 'economic benefits', and 'anti aging pills'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'gloal' instead of 'global', 'appereance' instead of 'appearance', 'remains' used loosely, and repetition of terms like 'tremendous'. These errors do not seriously impede communication because the writer's intent remains clear, but they restrict the lexical score. This performance fits squarely within the Band 6 descriptor, where vocabulary is adequate for the task but marred by frequent spelling inaccuracies and awkward collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent minor errors involving missing articles, incorrect prepositions, punctuation omissions (such as missing apostrophes in 'i woud' and 'it has'), and faulty verb tense consistency, for example, 'which will be discussed with the relevant examples in below paragrpahs.' While these errors rarely impede communication and the basic meaning is always recoverable, the high frequency of surface-level inaccuracies prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The grammar corresponds well to the Band 6 descriptor.

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