Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has become increasingly popular among individuals thesedays to use beauty products or spend money on surgeries to look younger. I think this is a negative development although it may provide instant results on skin, which will be discussed in this essay.

One major disadvantage of this trend is that these products and medical treatments are extremely expensive. Therefore, regular dependence on them can bring significant financial challenges among users. Another major concern is their side effects on health. There is no denying that these medical treatments and items include toxic substances which are harmful for sensitive skin. For example, according to healthcare professionals, their extreme usage may result in skin cancer in the long run. Hence, people should carefully reasearch before blindly using beauty supplements.

Admittedly, many celebraties especially actors use these products or go through a medical surgery for quick results that help them look better on screen. This is primarily because their skin becomes softer, fair, and glowing, making them extremely attractive than others. However, these instant results appear temporarily. Instead, people should depend on alternate options to look younger. This is particularly evident among those who prefer to follow a healthy diet, meditate and perform exercise on a regular basis. Its impact on skin does not only last long but also keep them away from health issues and financial challenges that arise when using expensive beauty supplements.

In conclusion, although medical advancement has made it possible for people to use numerous products to look younger. Its negative impact on health and finances cannot be overlooked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the disadvantages and advantages of using products and treatments to look younger, ultimately presenting a clear personal position that it is a negative development. The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations and examples, such as mentioning the potential for financial strain, health side effects like skin cancer, and the specific use of treatments by celebrities. However, some arguments could be extended further; for instance, the exploration of natural alternatives is a bit brief. Overall, the response meets the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0 in Task Achievement by presenting a clear position and addressing the prompt effectively, though the depth of development leans towards the solid Band 6.5 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is coherent and has a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, the main body paragraphs focusing on disadvantages, the counter-argument about celebrities and natural alternatives, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed effectively, such as 'One major disadvantage', 'Admittedly', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are minor issues with referencing and transition logic, particularly with the sentence 'Its impact on skin does not only last long...', which disrupts the flow slightly. Paragraph sequencing is logical, and the reader can easily follow the student's line of thought throughout the essay, comfortably placing this in the Band 6.5 to 7.0 range.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common items such as 'financial challenges', 'toxic substances', and 'healthcare professionals'. There are, however, a few noticeable spelling and word choice errors, including 'thesedays' (these days), 'reasearch' (research), 'celebraties' (celebrities), and 'medical surgery' (cosmetic surgery). Furthermore, phrases like 'extremely attractive than others' display awkward collocation. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the score from reaching higher bands. The lexical range is sufficient and functionally adequate, deserving a solid Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional-like structures successfully (e.g., '...treatments that help them to look younger' and '...challenges that arise when using expensive beauty supplements'). There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text. These include missing hyphens or spaces ('thesedays'), spelling mistakes, and a notable sentence fragment and punctuation error in the conclusion: '...numerous products to look younger. Its negative impact...'. Despite these recurring errors, they rarely impede communication, allowing the response to secure a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.