Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The latest innovations has streamlined the way we live, as the availibility of beauty transformation products are more accessible than in the bygone era. The excessive competation to look younger and smarter has significantly influenced the people to use the low-quality products for instant results. From my perspective, it is a negative development as it can leads towards serious health issues. This essay will explain the reasons along with the relevant examples.
The first and foremost reason is the demand to look younger even after a certain age has been increased to greater extent. These concerns encourages the cosmetic companies to make products with swift outcome. As a consequence, many companies prefers to invest a huge amount on things which provides quick and temporary results and then they advertise it by using several platforms to earn sufficient profit. Utimately, the product gains public attention as most of the people, particularly women are more willing to maintain and enhace their beauty at any cost. For example, The products featuring fair and white complextion gets immediate attention as it is considered as a significant factor of beauty.
In addition to it, there are no legal restrictions on the sales of these products and most of the companies are using mercury and other harmful chemicals in the making of these products Consequently, the buyers get instant results, in a week or even in a period of fifteen days. However, these cheap products causes damages which are harmful in long run as most of the individuals gets acne, skin thining issue and even cancer. The strict legislation is essential to migitate this competation, as it is getting intense day by day.
In contrast to it, there are surgical procedures which are performed under the supervision of a certificated doctor and the probabiliy of damage is quite less as they use high-quality products However, these procedure are costly and everyone can not afford them and there are only few clinics in developing countries. For instance, individuals are going through stomach surgeries to reduce obesity which is one of the successful ways to eliminate excessive fat without any physical activity.
To conclude, though the use of beauty enhancing products provides immediate satisfaction, however they are detrimental in long run as many people get effected by it negative outcome so it is a negative development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The student addresses all parts of the task by clearly stating a position that the trend of buying products to look younger is a negative development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the use of harmful chemical-infused products and the comparison with surgical procedures. The essay presents a clear viewpoint throughout, although some arguments, such as the discussion on surgeries, could have been more tightly integrated with the central theme of beauty products. Overall, the response fulfills the requirements of the prompt well and demonstrates clear task progression, aligning closely with a Band 6.5 to 7.0 profile.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organised with clear paragraphing, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'In addition to it', 'For example', and 'To conclude', although some transitions feel slightly mechanical or formulaic. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs discussing cheap products and surgical options, concluding with a summary of the writer's stance. Referencing is generally clear, maintaining a coherent overall arrangement throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'innovations', 'streamlined', 'legislation', and 'mitigate'. However, there are notable word choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'availibility', 'competation', 'complextion', 'thining', and 'effected'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching higher bands. Phrasing occasionally borders on unnatural collocation, yet the writer demonstrates sufficient flexibility to convey their arguments effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The latest innovations has', 'availibility... are', 'this concerns encourages', 'products causes') and article usage. Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and run-on sentences or missing punctuation between clauses. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar performance firmly within the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
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