Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, it is easy for the individuals to maintain their youthful look due to the easy access of beauty products and some medical ways. There's no denying that it gives self confidence but it causes financial burden as well as mental stress, which are way more drastically harmful for their health.

To begin with, maintaining their radiant young look gives enonmous confidence to the people by purchashing costly beauty products and getting medical skin treatments, this trend later on become a huge burden on their money management. These products and treatments are very expensive and people under the influence of the trend waste their hard earned money on it, which put them under the debts. Moreover, these unnecessary spendings results in mental stress.

In addition to this, these beauty products and treatments cause enormous health problems because it is proved in many studies that most of the beauty products contain harmfull chemicals. It results in hormon imbalance and other serious skin problems such as cancer. For instance, a recent study shows that women who wear makeup on daily basis or take skin treatments are suffering from various skin problems as compare to those who do not use these things.

In conclusion, I believe people have to pay significant amount of their earnings and health, to achieve short time pleasure of looking young by getting expensive skin treatments and spending blindly on beauty products. In results, it is a bad thing that people do to impress others under the influence of their role models.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, taking a clear position that the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger is a bad thing due to financial and health drawbacks. The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations regarding debt, mental stress, and physical side effects. For example, you mention that people waste hard-earned money and risk health problems like hormone imbalance. However, the development of some points tends to generalise slightly, and the examples, such as the reference to a study, are somewhat broad rather than fully detailed. Overall, your position is well sustained throughout the essay, demonstrating a clear understanding of the prompt requirements and satisfying the core demands of the task adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear overall progression with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as financial burdens in the second paragraph and health issues in the third. Cohesive devices are employed to link your thoughts together, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to this'. However, some of the referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and minor cohesion lapses occur, such as 'In results' at the end of the essay. Despite these occasional awkward links, the logical flow is easy to follow and the overall structure remains coherent throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary has an adequate range for the task, successfully conveying your main arguments. You attempt some less common lexical items, such as 'financial burden', 'hormon imbalance', and 'short time pleasure'. However, there are notable spelling and word choice inaccuracies, including 'enonmous' instead of 'enormous', 'purchashing', 'harmfull', and 'hormon'. Furthermore, phrases like 'medical ways' and 'medical skin treatments' could be phrased more naturally. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses and relative clauses, such as 'women who wear makeup on daily basis or take skin treatments are suffering'. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the response, including articles and prepositions ('on daily basis' instead of 'on a daily basis', 'as compare to' instead of 'compared to', 'put them under the debts' instead of 'into debt'), as well as agreement issues ('spendings results'). While these errors are frequent enough to restrict your score, your meaning remains clear and the grammatical control is adequate for everyday communicative purposes.

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