Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are more concerned about their health and beauty compared to previous generations. Some of them thinks to buy high-end products and some people pay for tratments that makes them younger. I believe both ways have a positive outcome for the society. This essay will disscuss the positive aspects with examples.

First of all, investing in your self is a therapy if you feel better from inside and outside life will give you peace and relaxing mind. Furthermore, people making money for themselves and if they invest on temselves it would be great for their body and mind wether its from buying products or treatments. For instance, if you have fine lines or wrinkles and you are doing a lift up session. It's not only make you beautiful and younger but also gives you confidence in your life.

Another compelling reason is that, buying good and authentic products for skin to make it glowy or shinny makes you feel more peaceful by mind and heart as people think they are becoming more confident and successful. For example, In cafes they wnat their server to look more pretty and beautiful. Even in job opportunities for receptionist they always hire the confident and young girls. It means looking younger and beautiful also makes you confident but always open doors for your new jobs and opportunities.

In conclusion to that, I believe investing on your body and taking treatments is not a bad thing but a great thing for the body and mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, presenting a clear position that they have positive outcomes. The main ideas, such as increased self-confidence and professional advantages, are introduced and supported with relevant examples like job opportunities for receptionists. However, the development tends to be somewhat repetitive, and the ideas are slightly under-developed, particularly in explaining the broader societal impacts beyond individual confidence. This places the response comfortably at Band 6.0 according to the descriptors, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some areas require more thorough extension.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as personal therapy versus professional benefits. Cohesive devices are employed, including transitional markers like 'First of all,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Another compelling reason is that.' However, some referencing is unclear or faulty, such as 'Some of them thinks' and repetitive sentence openings. Furthermore, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical rather than smooth. These features align with Band 6, where there is a coherent overall arrangement and logical progression, but cohesion can be faulty or mechanical at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'high-end products,' 'authentic products,' and 'compelling reason.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the essay, including 'tratments' instead of treatments, 'wether' instead of whether, 'shinny' instead of shiny, and 'wnat' instead of want. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they demonstrate limitations in lexical control and accuracy. This performance is consistent with a Band 6.0 rating, which reflects an adequate vocabulary range, an attempt to use less common words with some inaccuracy, and errors that do not hinder the reader's understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Some of them thinks,' 'invest on temselves,' and 'It's not only make you beautiful.' Punctuation errors also appear, including unnecessary commas in phrases like 'Another compelling reason is that,'. Despite these frequent errors, the meaning is generally recoverable, and communication is rarely impeded. This balance of mixed structures and persistent errors accurately matches the Band 5.0 descriptor, where attempts at complex sentences are often faulty and frequent errors occur.

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