Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today world, due to modernization, individuals have so many options and opportunities that they can look younger and more handsome. This is somewhat bad for their health, but on the other hand, it's also good. I will explain both points: how it is good and how it is bad.
Start with what are the benefit of using those products or taking some pills, and having operations to enhance their beauty. First and foremost, enhancing beauty with using those products increasing the confidence in the people. For example, some people look so ugly before taking any treatment, and they have to face some bull shits from society about their appeearnce that why they decide to take some beauty pills or having opreation of their body. Hence, their confidence is enhanced, and society gives them respect also. Second, some people have some kind of creativity but due to their appearance, they are rejected by society or companies. For example, if talk about the film industry, people should look attractive and beautiful, and those who are not beautiful or handsome are rejected by them. As a result, they take the step of taking beauty pills or undergoing body operations.
On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks to taking pills and having an operation. Taking pills and having an operation is not suit to everyone; it is not alwqays be sucessful, and sometimes they have more ugliness on their body, and they can not recover for their whole life, which can be traumatizing to them. The result can be worse; some people cannot survive that kind of traumatizing they take bad steps like suicide.
In conclusion, buying goods for a younger look is good and also bad at the same time. In my opinion, you should not do these kinds of things, and never be asshemed for their body.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of using anti-aging products and treatments, forming a clear personal position at the end. The ideas presented, such as increased self-confidence and professional opportunities in industries like film, are relevant and extended with examples. However, some arguments lack full development, and the language used to express them tends to be overly informal or generalized (e.g., describing people as 'looking so ugly' and mentioning 'bull shits from society'). Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting comfortably into the Band 6 descriptor where all parts of the task are covered with relevant, albeit somewhat underdeveloped and simplistic, ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the issue, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as 'First and foremost', 'Second', and 'On the other hand' are employed to guide the reader through the text. However, paragraphing is somewhat rudimentary, and cohesion feels mechanical in places. For example, the sentence 'Start with what are the benefit of using those products...' lacks appropriate transitional grammar, functioning more like speech than written discourse. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the dangling pronoun reference in 'that why they decide'. Progression is present, but overall organizational control limits the score to Band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts related to physical appearance, societal pressure, and psychological impact. However, there are notable limitations and inappropriate word choices that hinder a higher score. Informal or inappropriate terms such as 'bull shits', 'handsome' (used incorrectly for general appearance enhancement), and 'ugliness' detract from the register. Furthermore, spelling and word formation errors are frequent, including 'appeearnce', 'opreation', 'alwqays', 'sucessful', and 'asshemed'. While meaning is generally clear, these lexical inadequacies and errors place the writing firmly at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses ('if talk about the film industry, people should look attractive...'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak. Frequent errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('with using those products increasing'), incorrect prepositional usage ('enhancing beauty with using'), tense inconsistencies, and missing articles. Additionally, there are severe fragment and run-on issues, such as 'which can be traumatizing to them. The result can be worse; some people cannot survive that kind of traumatizing they take bad steps like suicide.' These persistent errors impede fluency and cause some difficulty for the reader, aligning with the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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