Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, shopping on expensive products or paying for treaments in order to look young is highly popular. Although this could help people to gain more confidence to live in a competitive society while there are some various negative aspects of using these unnatural products.
On the one hand, the beauty products can enhance your personality appearance and appealing look in your work environment. For example, people feel more confident to share ideas and communicate effectively in meetings, office presentations and occasional gathering without any sense of discomfort about their looks. Secondly, in this competitive society where intelligence has a great role similary upgraded personality also matter. People who are advance in both aspects, people could easily find space in any jobs as well as work in strong positions. Such as working on leadership roles.
One the flip side, these chemical products are harmful to the health. There are some side effects of using them. For instance, people who are more inclined towards having such treatments to show younger appearance become fully dependent on it throughout their lives because without maintainance their looks become unpleasent. Futhermore, these artificial products can cause various skin problems. It has been noticed that 85% Asian womens are facing several skin disease at the age of 35.
In conclusion, skin care products can gives a refreshing looks and beautiful looks but overly depending on these products could cause significant health problems. Therefore, people should accept healthy aging and use beauty products efficiently.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of using products and treatments to look younger. A clear position is established in the conclusion, and relevant ideas are presented, such as increased confidence in the workplace versus potential health risks and chemical side effects. However, the ideas are somewhat under-developed, relying on brief, sweeping assertions like '85% Asian womens are facing several skin disease at the age of 35' rather than deeply reasoned explanations. Furthermore, the response falls slightly short of the minimum word count requirement, containing 246 words instead of the required 250. This minor word count penalty slightly impacts the task achievement score, resulting in a band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into four distinct paragraphs with a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and finishing with a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'One the flip side', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen with typos like 'One the flip side' instead of 'On the flip side'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but referencing and logical progression within paragraphs could be tighter and more natural. Overall, the organizational framework meets the requirements for a band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student attempts some less common vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'competitive society', 'unnatural products', 'personality appearance', and 'chemical products'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as 'shopping on expensive products' instead of 'spending money on expensive products', 'occasional gathering' instead of 'occasional gatherings', and 'womens' instead of 'women'. Additionally, collocation errors like 'upgraded personality also matter' limit precision. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the main arguments, these frequent errors place the lexical resource score at a band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures with subordinate clauses like 'Although this could help people...' and 'People who are advance in both aspects...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'skin care products can gives' (incorrect verb form), 'womens are facing' (pluralization error), and 'without maintainance' (spelling and article omission). Punctuation and sentence boundary issues also occur, such as a fragment in the first sentence ('while there are some various negative aspects...'). Because these errors are noticeable and recurrent, the grammar score is a band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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