Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
These days there is a growing trend that individuals purchase a lot of products or pay for aesthetic treatments to have younger looking appearance. Some people argue that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. In my opinion the former perspective is more rational.
This essay will prove it to be the authentic vision.
First and foremost, the reason is that in this digital era it is very convenient to have all the information about the aesthetic treatments and products. There are a lot of doctors which share their services online, and we can also ask them about our skin problems. Many people are getting benefits from their advices not only skin problems but hair transplant and other kinds of problems relating to the appearance.
Probing further aesthetic treatments were damn expensive in the past but now it is not only cheap but affordable in many countries, for instance Turkey provide cheap treatments of hair transplant. There are now many men and women who looks not only younger but also gorgious due to these aesthetic treatments. This also has positive effect on our mental well being, we feel ourselves more valueable.
To look beautiful is in the nature of human beings, and this is the sense of aesthetics that, for the beginning of human civilazitions people has been adopted different methods to beautify them, Greek, Roman and Indian cultures, they all have had their own ways of treatments.
To recapitulate, it is good habit to improve selfbeing, therefore it is necessary to adopt this lifestyle and people should spend money to purchase beauty products and aesthetic treatments to enhance personality.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger and clearly taking a position that it is a good thing. The main body paragraphs provide reasons, such as increased accessibility and affordability of aesthetic treatments, along with a historical context regarding human nature. However, some ideas are a bit repetitive and under-developed, relying on sweeping generalisations rather than fully explored examples. Phrases like 'Turkey provide cheap treatments' lack specific detail. The position is maintained throughout, but the depth of argument keeps it at a solid band 6 level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is arranged into logical paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'Probing further', and 'To recapitulate', but some of these transitional phrases feel rather mechanical or awkward in context, such as 'Probing further'. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, although the second introductory sentence 'This essay will prove it to be the authentic vision' is disjointed and disrupts the flow. Referencing is occasionally unclear, but overall the progression of ideas is coherent enough to follow without difficulty.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'aesthetic treatments', 'hair transplant', and 'well being'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, as well as spelling mistakes throughout the text, for example 'gorgious' instead of gorgeous, 'civilazitions', and 'selfbeing'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, but inaccuracies in form and usage, such as 'authentic vision' and 'good habit to improve selfbeing', prevent the score from reaching a higher band. Communication is not impeded by these lexical flaws, but they are frequent enough to cap the score at 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional-like constructions. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article use. Examples include 'There are a lot of doctors which share', 'Turkey provide', 'men and women who looks', and 'for the beginning of human civilazitions people has been adopted'. While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning and the reader can follow the points being made, they occur with enough frequency to heavily impact the overall grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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