Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's evolving world, people have access to a wide range of products and medical treatments that can make them look younger. Although this development has some disadvantages, I believe it is largely a positive trend because it can improve people's confidence and provide them with greater freedom to make choices about their appearance.

Out of all the arguments, one of the major advantages of these products and treatments is that they can improve people's self-confidence. As people get older their skin can become wrinkles, grey hair and other visible sign of ageing, which can affect how they feel about themselves. for instance, using skincare products,receiving dental and hair treatment and undergoing cosmetic procedure may help individual feel more comforatble with thier appearance. Moreover, when people feel more confident about their look, they become more socially active and perform better in their professional lives. In addition, the development of cosmetic medicine has provided people with more choices than were available in the pase.

On the other hand, there are also some disadvantages aspect of this trend. Firstly, some people may become more concered with their appearance and spend excessive amounts of money on products and treatments. That is to say, many people try to look younger, which can create unnecessary finacial and emotional pressure. Furthermore, not all treatments are safe for skin, some cosmetic procedure can cause serious health problems. For example, a person who repeatedly undergo invasive procedures without medical advices could experience complication and permanent damage.

In conclusion, although products and treatments designed to make people look younger can lead to financial pressure and health risks. I strongly believe that they are more beneficial because people can improve their look by using safe and professionally regulated treatments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response effectively addresses both parts of the task by discussing whether products and treatments that help people look younger are a good or bad thing. You present a clear position from the introduction, arguing that it is largely a positive trend because of confidence-boosting benefits and greater freedom of choice, and you maintain this stance throughout. The ideas are extended and supported across paragraphs, such as explaining how looking younger can positively impact both social and professional lives, alongside acknowledging potential financial pressures and health risks. While some points, like the discussion of health complications, could be elaborated further, the overall coverage meets the requirements of a Band 7 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. You successfully divide your thoughts into coherent paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Out of all the arguments', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' are used effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. However, paragraphing and referencing can occasionally feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor structural slip-ups like starting sentences with lowercase letters ('for instance'). Overall, the logical flow and organisational structure firmly align with a Band 6.5 to 7.0 standard.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your vocabulary has an adequate range for the task and attempts less common lexical items, such as 'cosmetic procedure', 'socially active', and 'professionally regulated treatments'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'become wrinkles' instead of 'become wrinkled', 'sign' instead of 'signs', 'comforatble', 'thier', 'pase' instead of 'past', and 'concered'. Furthermore, phrases like 'financial and emotional pressure' are somewhat repetitive and standard. These inaccuracies prevent the vocabulary score from reaching higher bands, placing your lexical resource securely at a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising structures like subordinate clauses with 'Although' and conditional ideas with relative clauses. There are, however, several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that recur throughout the essay. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'skin can become wrinkles', missing articles ('undergoing cosmetic procedure'), and capitalization errors ('for instance'). Additionally, the final sentence of your essay contains a punctuation error with a full stop splitting a dependent and independent clause ('health risks. I strongly believe'). These errors occasionally interrupt the flow, though they rarely impede overall communication, reflecting a Band 6.0.

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