Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been widely shown that many individuals spend a lot of amount of money on many beauty products and aging treatment to look younger. I believe it has multiple disadvantages.

To commence with, nowadays beauty suplements and treatments become highly popular among society to look handsome, however it has quite harmful effects on health. In other words, various chamical use in botox and microneedling treatments, which leads issues like scaring, life-long pigmentation, and infections. Therefore, people should avoid these type of treatments and have to focus on balance diet and fitness. For example, According to researchers many bollywood and hollywood celebrities try filler and anti-aging treatments to maintain their good-looks, but their appearance look even more bad after long-time.

Furthermore, becuase of several oral beauty supplements many people suffers life threatning condintions.Excessive vitamin dose can injure liver cells. Severe injury can cause jaundice, confusion, bleeding problems and liver failure in rare cases. Apart from that simulant-containing supplements products can raise heart rate and blood pressure or trigger abnormal heart rythems. For instance, Thousands of individuals face liver and bone related problems due to extra use of vitamin A.

In conclusion, in order to slow down visible signs of aging several individuals spend unnecessary money on pills and treatments, while it has negative impact on health as it can occure organ, heart and liver related worst problems, that is why I disagree with this trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether spending money on anti-aging treatments and products is a good or bad thing, clearly taking a negative stance ('I believe it has multiple disadvantages'). Ideas are presented regarding health risks, such as chemical use in botox and side effects of oral supplements, providing relevant examples like vitamin A overuse. However, the position is slightly hindered because the response falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 235 words. Consequently, the development of ideas remains somewhat constrained, leading to an under-length penalty that prevents the score from reaching higher bands. To improve, ensure you fully explore your examples and meet the required word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays an overall logical structure with clear paragraphing separating the introduction, two body paragraphs covering distinct arguments, and a conclusion. Transitional phrases such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are utilized to guide the reader through the text. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition between sentences within the body paragraphs occasionally lacks smoothness, and phrases like 'Apart from that simulant-containing supplements products' are awkwardly connected. Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but the logical progression within paragraphs could be tighter to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'pigmentation', 'jaundice', and 'simulant-containing'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'suplements' (supplements), 'chamical' (chemical), 'scaring' (scarring), 'rythems' (rhythms), and 'condintions' (conditions). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they reflect a lack of precision and control over less common lexical items. To improve, focus on expanding your control of word forms, checking spelling rigorously, and using precise academic collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses such as 'treatments, which leads issues like...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect readability, such as 'many individuals spend a lot of amount of money', 'various chamical use', and 'their appearance look even more bad after long-time'. Subject-verb agreement issues ('beauty suplements... become', 'it can occure') and preposition errors ('focus on balance diet') also occur. While these errors rarely completely obscure the meaning, they are persistent enough to cap the score at this level.

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