Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

These day, with the evolution of aesthetic medicine, people can conveniently purchase products or treatments which can rejuvinate their skin. It is not a good development, as it is reducing the confidence of people in themselves and they are never happy with their appearance. Moreover, such products and treatments may have long term side-effects.

With the advancement of technology, there are modern techniques and pharmaceutical products which can help people look younger by removing their wrinkles and tightening their skin. Although such innovation are for the greater good of people, their excessive availabilty has created a sense of insecuirty among ageing individuals. Especially, women are affected by this issue, and they always try new procedure to make their skin look young and glowy. Hence, people start losing confidence with their growing age and are always unhappy with their appearance. That is the reason why aesthetic industry is becoming successful, and they can sell anything to their customers. For example, fifty percent of Turkey's economy is comparised of aesthetic clinics, as people from all over the world travel to Turkey to get their skin tightened or even hair transplants along with visitng tourist attractions.

Nonetheless, they are unaware of the harmful effect of these products on their body for the longer run. Most of these medicines have temporary affects, and the skin starts looking pale and dull after the treatment is stopped. Hence, they have to continue that for a longer time period. Such medications, if they get mixed with blood in larger quantity, can cause systemic toxicity in various organs, such as brain, kidney, and heart among many others. Laser skin treatment, for example, can cause permanent burns on the skin. Therefore, it is better to get such medications and treatments in moderation and only by licenced doctors.

In conclusion, it has become accesible for people to get medicine or various treatments to look younger, and this development is making them less confident in themselves. These products can pose serious threat to the various organs of the body as well, if they are not used moderately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether the availability of anti-aging products and treatments is a positive or negative development, clearly stating a negative position from the beginning. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant arguments, such as the psychological impact on self-confidence and the potential physical side effects of treatments. For instance, the example regarding Turkey's economy and medical tourism effectively illustrates the scale of the aesthetic industry. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise regarding the permanent damage or systemic toxicity of these products without broader context. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the prompt well, providing a clear stance and supporting examples throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay displays clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, starting with an introduction that outlines the writer's stance, moving into psychological and economic impacts in the second paragraph, physical side effects in the third, and concluding effectively. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Although', 'Hence', and 'Nonetheless' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the arguments, though referencing and paragraph linking could occasionally be smoother. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, contributing to an overall coherent piece of writing where ideas follow a natural and logical path.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision, successfully employing less common items such as 'aesthetic medicine', 'rejuvinate', 'systemic toxicity', and 'insecuirty'. While there are a few minor spelling and word-choice errors—such as 'rejuvinate' instead of 'rejuvenate', 'availabilty' instead of 'availability', 'comparised' instead of 'comprised', and 'accesible' instead of 'accessible'—these errors do not impede communication. The writer demonstrates an awareness of style and collocation suitable for discussing a modern socio-medical topic, placing the lexical range comfortably within the Band 6.5 to 7.0 territory.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The student demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or concessive clauses such as 'Although such innovation are for the greater good of people...' and 'Such medications, if they get mixed with blood... can cause systemic toxicity'. There are several grammatical and mechanical errors present, such as 'These day' instead of 'These days', subject-verb agreement issues like 'innovation are' instead of 'innovations are', and minor punctuation oversights. However, many sentences are error-free, and the errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the arguments easily. Control over complex sentence forms is generally good.

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