Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

These days, with the evolution of aesthetic medicine, people can conveniently purchase products or treatments which can rejuvenate their skin. This is not a good development, as it is reducing the confidence of people in themselves and they are never happy with their appearance. Moreover, such products and treatments may have long-term side-effects.

With the advancement of technology, there are modern techniques and pharmaceutical products which can help people look younger by removing their wrinkles and tightening their skin. Although such innovations are for the greater good of people, their excessive availability has created a sense of insecurity among ageing individuals. Especially, women are affected by this issue, and they always try new procedures to make their skin look young and glowy. Hence, people start losing confidence with their growing age and are always unhappy with their appearance. That is the reason why the aesthetic industry is becoming successful, and they can sell anything to their customers. For example, fifty percent of Turkey's economy is comprised of aesthetic clinics, as people from all over the world travel to Turkey to get their skin tightened or even hair transplants along with visitng tourist attractions.

Nonetheless, they are unaware of the harmful effects of these products on their body for the long run. Most of these medicines have temporary effects, and the skin starts looking pale and dull after the treatment is stopped. Hence, they have to continue that for a long time. Such medications, if they get mixed with blood in larger quantity, can cause systemic toxicity in various organs, such as brain, kidney, and heart among many others. Laser skin treatment, for example, can cause permanent burns on the skin. Therefore, it is better to get such medications and treatments in moderation and only by licensed doctors.

In conclusion, it has become accessible for people to get medicine or various treatments to look younger, and this development is making them less confident in themselves. These products can pose a serious threat to the various organs of the body as well, if they are not used moderately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the products and treatments used to look younger and taking a clear position that this is a negative development. The writer supports their position with logical arguments regarding psychological insecurity, commercial exploitation, and physical side-effects. Ideas are well-extended throughout the body paragraphs. For instance, the reference to the Turkish aesthetic tourism market provides a concrete example to illustrate how the industry profits from consumer insecurity, and the discussion of systemic toxicity and skin burns effectively supports the argument regarding health risks. The position remains consistent and clear from the introduction through to the conclusion, satisfying the requirements for a Band 7.5 or Band 8 in Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression throughout. The introduction successfully outlines the writer's stance, followed by body paragraphs that separately address psychological impacts and physical risks, concluding with a concise summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Although', 'Hence', and 'Nonetheless' are used to connect ideas flexibly and appropriately. Paragraphing is used logically to separate distinct themes. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional minor shifts in pronoun reference, such as 'they can sell anything' referring to the industry, occur. Overall, the structural flow is coherent and supports easy reading, placing it comfortably in the Band 7 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision, incorporating less common items such as 'evolution of aesthetic medicine', 'rejuvenate', 'systemic toxicity', and 'pharmaceutical products'. There is an awareness of style and collocation, although minor inaccuracies exist, such as 'growing age' instead of 'advancing age' or 'getting such medications' rather than 'taking such medications'. However, these vocabulary errors do not impede communication. The use of phrasing like 'excessive availability' and 'sense of insecurity' displays a solid command of topic-specific lexis, making Band 6.5 a fair descriptor for this lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

The response features a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'although', 'which', and 'if'. There are frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating a strong command of grammar. However, a few minor inaccuracies persist, such as 'confidence of people in themselves' instead of 'self-confidence', and 'visitng' (a typographical error) alongside a slightly awkward plural agreement in 'visitng tourist attractions'. Punctuation is generally sound, and despite these minor slips, the majority of sentences remain accurate and communication is never impeded. This performance aligns well with the criteria for Band 7.0.

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