Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, there are many products and treatments that could make people look younger. People who go through these therapies believe that it gives them confidence. I believe that confidence comes from character and not looks. In my opinion, using beauty products to look younger is a bad thing. This means that people are not comfortable in their own body and pay for these treatments for society's approval.

One such treatment which is common nowadays is a hair patch or a hair transplant. Men in their early 30's have been suffering from hairloss which has increased their insecurities about their looks. The major cause of male pattern baldness is lack of nutrition and deficiency of vitamins and minerals. Instead of focusing on their health they prefect an easier solution which is hair transplant without knowing it's long term sideeffects. Such products may enhance looks but can cause severe damage to skin and could lead to skin cancer in some cases. The companies who sell these products target on the insecurities of people. One such example is from the advertisment of a fairness cream, it stated that "fair is lovely" and thus use the product to look fair. This could influence people into thinking that if someone is not fair they are not good looking. Companies use famous actors and influences to market these products.

New products and treatments will be introduced for our use every year. Consumers should be aware of the ingridients that these product holds. Before buying these products people should concider if the product has real benefit or not.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt effectively by taking a clear position that products and treatments used to look younger are a bad thing. The writer explores relevant ideas, such as psychological insecurities, societal pressure, and potential health risks. For instance, the discussion on hair transplants and fairness cream advertisements provides concrete examples supporting the argument. However, some arguments lack deeper extension; the mention of male pattern baldness and nutrition could be more fully developed to reach the highest band. Nevertheless, all parts of the task are addressed with a consistent and clear perspective throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 or solid Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression, moving logically from the writer's thesis statement to specific body paragraph examples, and finally to a concluding recommendation. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as individual motivations versus corporate targeting. Cohesive devices are employed, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical, such as 'One such treatment which is common nowadays' and 'One such example'. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional minor linking awkwardnesses prevent the essay from achieving a higher band in this category. Overall, the organizational structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common lexical items such as 'insecurities', 'deficiency', and 'corporate targeting'. However, there are several noticeable spelling errors—such as 'prefect' instead of 'prefer', 'sideeffects', 'advertisment', 'ingridients', and 'concider'—alongside minor word choice inaccuracies like 'product holds' instead of 'contain'. These lexical slips prevent the response from achieving a higher band, but the vocabulary remains sufficient to communicate the writer's arguments clearly to the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses ('People who go through these therapies...'). There are several grammatical and mechanical errors throughout the text, such as missing hyphens ('long term'), a comma splice in the first paragraph, and subject-verb agreement issues like 'the product holds' when referring to plural ingredients. Punctuation errors are also present, including the apostrophe in 'it's long term sideeffects'. Despite these frequent minor errors, they rarely impede communication, and the meaning of the sentences remains clear, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0.

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