Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Recently, it is very common amongst people to pay for treatments and having affordability to buy various products which assist them to look younger as per their age. As per my understanding, it has a negative impact on health.

To begin with, the primary cause of using these products have a side effects on your health. However, such kind of treatments might improve your aesthetics but internally they deteriorates person's health. For instance, there are different kind of make-up products and equipments such as hair curlers and dryers which works great on your hairs and make a pleasurable and stylish appearance but ultimately these equipments damages hairs as the extensive amount of heat alters the keratin layer over hair strand and thus leads to significant amount of hair fall.

On the other hand, medical treatments particularly botox and fillers are more prevalant nowadays among young adults. Due to its cheaper and convenient rates, these are easily accessible however, such treatments if not done properly under medical supervision they can finishes individual’s face line. For example, botox which are used to mask or prevent face wrinkles conversely, they have severe after effects on person's eyes. Furthermore, one of widely used products such as Ozempic, a type of drug, which is commonly prescribed for diabetic patients, however, these medicines are used off label to reduce obesity which has a detrimental impact on physical health if used too often.

In a conclusion, using such type of things can temporarily improves looks but eventually these can lead to permanent damage to body. As alteration with nature is inversely proportional to the damage. Therefore, one should use such products wisely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, clearly stating the position that it has a negative impact on health. The main ideas are supported with examples such as hair styling equipment, botox, and Ozempic. However, some arguments lack deep development and the examples tend to generalize slightly. For instance, the discussion on Ozempic touches upon off-label use for weight loss, but the link to looking younger is slightly tangential. Nevertheless, the prompt is fully addressed and a clear position is maintained throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, moving from cosmetics and hair tools to medical treatments like botox. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Phrases like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In a conclusion' are used, but logical transitions within paragraphs are occasionally clunky. Referencing is also slightly unclear in places, such as 'Due to its cheaper and convenient rates, these are easily accessible', where pronoun agreement falters. Overall organization is clear enough to earn a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'aesthetics', 'deteriorates', 'prevalant', and 'detrimental'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'having affordability to buy' instead of 'affording', 'finishes individual’s face line' instead of 'ruining facial features', and 'temporarily improves looks' where 'appearance' might fit better. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, such as 'hairs' used as a countable noun in places where 'hair' is required, and 'prevalant' instead of 'prevalent'. These inaccuracies place the vocabulary performance solidly at a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the primary cause of using these products have'), incorrect verb forms ('treatments and having affordability', 'deteriorates person's health'), and awkward phrasing ('As alteration with nature is inversely proportional to the damage'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but comma splices and missing articles appear frequently. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they restrict the grammar score to a Band 5.0 due to the high frequency of inaccurate complex structures.

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