Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that nowadays it is possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger which is obviously one of the nicest thing to observe in recent years because everyone around the world is obsessed with looking younger. But demographically, only those people can usually buy many product or pay for treatment who have handful of money. On the other hand, the average population still struggles to fulfil their basic needs or neccessity of food, clothing and shelter.

I personally feel the obsession over younger looking skin shouldn't be advertised as it is being circulated through the social media platforms. There are too many information and every month there is a launch of a new product that has all the quality of making your skin fuller, firmer, no wrinkles or fine lines, which is manipulating the consumer to buy and become younger or have korean glass-skin within a month or so. Most of the people are actually being fooled because they are buying endless product without knowing about their skin types and their needs. Every individual should evaluate their skin types and its need and then decide which product works best for them. The key to younger or healthy looking skin is majorly good diet and consistency with your skin care routine. A simple skin care routine should include a mild cleanser, moisturizer and a sunscreen followed by the other serum which you need according for your problematic areas. It is true that with age you loose the elasticity that is why collagen needs to be produced by using Retinols 3x days.

I would like to conclude that it is good that we can work on our self in looking younger but going through treatments and using unneccessary products shouldn't be encouraged at the base level especially at the younger age. The fashion industry and the celebrities have also made it more common to go under the knife for looking younger has also left a significant impact on the masses. Everyone wants to look perfect and are ready to put anything and everything on their face under social media influences. I think if we are concerned about our skin we should consult a licenced dermatologist who can evaluate our skin and prescribe the product accordingly. That can actually help people in spending less on random products and getting better results out of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt directly by discussing whether the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger is a good or bad thing. You take a clear position, arguing that while wanting to look younger is understandable, the commercial exploitation, unrealistic expectations, and pressure from social media make it largely a negative phenomenon, especially for younger demographics. Ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as mentioning Korean glass-skin trends and dermatological consultations. However, the introduction introduces a slight distraction by shifting into socio-economic disparities (the wealthy versus average populations) which dilutes the central focus of whether the trend itself is positive or negative. Overall, the task is addressed well with relevant supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is divided into three logical paragraphs that separate the introduction and socio-economic context, the core discussion on skincare trends and advice, and the conclusion regarding social media and professional advice. Cohesive devices are used adequately throughout, such as 'On the other hand', 'I personally feel', and 'I would like to conclude'. However, referencing and transitions within paragraphs can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or abrupt, such as moving from skin types straight into a specific regimen without smoother transitional phrases. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, though integrating the opening economic observations more seamlessly into the main thesis would improve overall flow and logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common items and topic-specific terms such as 'demographically', 'dermatologist', 'collagen', and 'elasticity'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocational inaccuracies that recur throughout the text, such as 'nicest thing to observe' instead of 'trend', 'handful of money' instead of 'a great deal of wealth', 'too many information' (uncountable noun error), and 'unneccessary' (spelling error). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'It is true that nowadays it is possible... which is obviously one of the nicest thing'. There are, however, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, including subject-verb agreement issues ('one of the nicest thing', 'too many information', 'Most of the people are actually being fooled'), punctuation lapses, and preposition misuse ('according for your problematic areas', '3x days'). Although these errors occasionally cause the reader brief pauses, communication is generally maintained.

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