Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Currently, It very easy for some people to purchase various products or pay for surgeries which help them to look younger for a longer time. I firmly believe that it is a very bad development. No one should do or encourage this kinds of ideas. This essay will discuss about it's drawbacks.
Nowadays many celebrities and film actors pay to much money for treatments such as jaw incline and breast implant. there are several disadvantages of this operations. One of the main drawback is that after some time people might suffer with major sickness such as skin cancer. This kinds of treatments are very risky which can give a life long illness. Another negative impact is that a person can loose his natural beauty forever. Some features look good for a minimal time but late that person will miss their original skin and features.
Although rich people can hire good certified doctors, it still causes problem to many of them. For instance, Michael Jackson never liked his skin's tone. After becoming a famous celebrity he spent too much money on several treatments to get a fair skin. Eventully, he got success in it. However, he struggled with many illness during his entire life. If it was a cause of sickness for such a big celebrity then it is very harmful too general public.
In conclusion, Nowadays
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that treatments to look younger are a bad development, citing drawbacks such as health risks and losing natural beauty. However, the task is incomplete because the essay cuts off mid-sentence in the conclusion ("In conclusion, Nowadays...") and fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, stopping at 226 words. Consequently, the ideas in the conclusion are undeveloped, and the overall scope of the task is only partially covered. To improve, ensure all parts of the task are fully completed and the essay reaches the required length, allowing for full development of arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays a basic overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an attempted conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as physical risks versus celebrity examples. However, progression is hindered by the abrupt ending of the essay. Cohesive devices are used simply, such as "Another negative impact is that" and "Although rich people can hire good certified doctors", but referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. The logical flow is interrupted significantly by the incomplete final sentence, which impacts the overall unity and coherence of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some topic-specific terms such as "surgeries", "treatments", "skin cancer", and "celebrity". However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as "pay to much money" instead of "pay too much money", "jaw incline", "loose his natural beauty" instead of "lose", and "Eventully" for "Eventually". Furthermore, phrase choices like "harmful too general public" reflect spelling and prepositional inaccuracies that detract from precision, placing the lexical control firmly at a Band 5 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional structures ("If it was a cause of sickness...") and concessive clauses ("Although rich people can hire..."). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors including subject-verb agreement and article usage issues, such as "It very easy" instead of "It is very easy", "this kinds of ideas" instead of "these kinds of ideas", and "suffer with major sickness" instead of "suffer from major illnesses". Punctuation is also problematic in places, notably with lowercase letters at the beginnings of sentences ("there are several disadvantages").
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