Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary world, due to medical advancement, it is possible to look younger while using beauty products or paying for treatments. I believe that it is positive development since it enhances the appearances of individuals and it also benefical for economic perspective.

To commence with the positive effects of looking young while using medial treatments, people want to be younger and healthy in order to fulfill thier dreams. For example, the actors who are working in films they want to be young so their audience always judge them from their outer appearnces, and they also do not bother the ages of thier role model. As a result, film stars want to work longer period of time in entertainment industry in order to achieve their goals, and that why they spend a lot on medical treatments to look young.Espacially women who want to look younger use the beauty products so everbody give an attention.

Furthermore, there are many stores who sell products, which is being used to look younger, make a contribution to enhance the GDP (gross domestic production) of the country. These stores are paying heavy taxes in order to sale their products in the market; therefore, the government can use this money other constructive purposes, which may be benefical for the holistic development of the nation. Additionally, it also create more job oppourtunity for local people and decrease the unemployement rate in that particuly nation.

In conclusion, spending money on medical treatment to look young has many significant benefits such as psycheological satisfaction, economy growth, and it give employment to many people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a positive or negative development, taking a clear positive stance. The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations, such as mentioning actors who want to remain youthful for their careers and the economic contributions through taxes and GDP. However, some arguments lack full extension and are slightly repetitive, leaning towards a tendency to over-generalize, particularly in the discussion on female consumers and economic growth. Overall, the task is addressed adequately and a clear position is maintained throughout, fitting the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and distinct body paragraphs. Logical sequencing is present, starting with individual benefits and moving to economic impacts. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with phrases like 'To commence with' and 'that why' feeling unnatural. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in sentences like 'These stores are paying heavy taxes in order to sale their products... therefore, the government can use this money other constructive purposes'. Paragraphing is used, but the internal transitions between sentences occasionally disrupt the flow, placing this text firmly at a Band 6 level.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts to incorporate less common lexical items such as 'contemporary world', 'holistic development', and 'psychological satisfaction' (spelled 'psycheological'). There are several spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'benefical' instead of beneficial, 'thier' instead of their, 'appearnces', 'Espacially', 'sale' instead of sell, 'oppourtunity', 'unemplotment', and 'particuly'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication because the intended meaning remains clear to the reader, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Examples of complex structures include 'In contemporary world, due to medical advancement, it is possible to look younger while using beauty products or paying for treatments.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'actors who are working in films they want to be young', 'that why they spend', and missing prepositions like 'use this money [for] other constructive purposes'. Punctuation and article usage also show inconsistencies. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally clear and communication is rarely impeded, which is characteristic of Band 6 performance.

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