Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays many cosmetic companies and product are avilable in the market. There are also avilable many of them different kind of treatment were the docter of skin treartment like ageing and other type of injection they give. In my way there are Good thing to use treatment that help to look younger and smart but also there will be on safe and not other kind of kind or health issued its your own priority to check the taste.

One major advantage is looking younger and smarter is valuable to your self confidence in public area where you can don't hesitate any kind of shyness or feeling like not well fit to group of firends and working area. There are more and more product are avilable in the market,used to looking young in there skin wrinkles, grey hairs and other type of skin treatment avilable to dermatologiest and other skin docters who are they give treatment of this, so looking good as young is very imporatnt in current area were people are become most health conscious for there looks.

Another advantage is there people who are not eat to there well conditions, there many dentist are new technology avilable to provide older people to eating in there favorite foods.so there are also avilable for those people who are suffering skin diseases. so looking good as face create your personality also in front of society.

However, some disadvante also here there are many other cosmetics company provide different kind of product well those are some time not suit the people skin or some issue and some create skin disease also.so those product choose by people responbily to purchase or not.

In conclusion, there is used a professional treatment for your skin ageing and other type of treatment is genrally good, but used this products for informed by the company as skin is safe and other type of skin allergy. so i think its the people responsibilites to take care how to use safely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using products and treatments to look younger. The writer introduces personal views and mentions points like boosting self-confidence, cosmetic safety, and skin health. However, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack clear examples from personal knowledge or experience, remaining somewhat vague and repetitive. For instance, the reference to dentists helping older people eat favourite foods is largely irrelevant to the main prompt about looking younger. Furthermore, the position is not always clearly sustained throughout the text due to wandering arguments. These limitations place the response firmly in the band 5 category, as it addresses the task only partially with limited and under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing a basic attempt at structural organisation. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by poor transitions and confusing sentence construction. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the repeated phrase 'there are also avilable', which creates a mechanical feel and hinders smooth reading. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader to guess the connections between clauses and sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak. Overall, these features demonstrate organisational flaws that align with a band 4.5 to 5.0 level, reflecting some organisation but lacking clear overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'avilable', 'docter', 'treartment', 'imporatnt', 'responbily', and 'genrally'. The range of vocabulary is limited, forcing the writer to reuse simple words and phrases multiple times rather than demonstrating lexical flexibility. While the general topic is understandable, the frequent lexical errors and inappropriate word choices cause strain for the reader and occasionally impede clear communication. This performance matches the band 4 criteria, where basic and repetitive vocabulary combined with frequent errors restricts the precision and flow of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying predominantly on simple sentences and clumsy attempts at complex structures that are almost always faulty. Punctuation is largely neglected, with run-on sentences and missing capitalization or periods creating heavy strain. Sentences such as 'In my way there are Good thing to use treatment that help to look younger and smart but also there will be on safe and not other kind of kind or health issued its your own priority to check the taste' demonstrate a complete lack of control over basic syntax. Frequent grammatical errors severely impede communication and prevent the reader from following the intended meaning smoothly, placing this text at a band 4 level.

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