Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Buying beauty products or getting treatments to have youthful skin is becoming common these days. This practice stems from two reasons: a lack of self-esteem and a desire to gain society's validation. In my view, it is not a good approach to adopt.
People nowadays are not comfortable in their own skin; therefore, they tend to change their appearance so as to feel confident. The primary reason for this shift is the availability of enormous beauty products and social media marketing, which influences thousands of people online. For instance, many beauty influencers are getting face surgeries like Botox and nose jobs to look younger. Hence, many common people follow the ongoing trends. As a result, it is becoming quite hard to distinguish between young and old people.
It is often argued that many youngsters age shame elderly people, which is another reason for this recent change in society. Consequently, a significant number of older people have not only started using products but also have paid millions for face transformations. For example, working in a corporate job, where people from every age bracket work together, may mean facing discrimination based on their outer looks. In order to avoid such treatment, older people started relying on artificial ways to look youthful so they can fit in with societal norms. Henceforth, many feel ashamed to look old and ugly.
In conclusion, older generations want to look much younger because they do not feel comfortable with how they appear to others and this is partly due to the fact that young people may ridicule older people for not looking as young as they are. Overall, it is a negative development in the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing why people buy anti-aging products and treatments, and clearly presents a position that this is a negative development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the influence of social media marketing, beauty influencers, and corporate workplace dynamics where age discrimination might occur. The writer successfully identifies psychological drivers like low self-esteem and societal validation. While the arguments are well-developed and the position is clear throughout, the discussion could be slightly deeper regarding the broader sociological impacts to reach the highest bands. Overall, the task is answered effectively, earning a solid band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, beginning with an introduction that outlines the causes and the writer's stance, followed by two well-defined body paragraphs exploring different facets of the issue, and concluding with a concise summary. Cohesive devices are used adequately and appropriately, such as 'therefore', 'for instance', 'hence', and 'consequently'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, ensuring that the text is easy to follow. Referencing is generally clear, though minor improvements in linking phrases could enhance the overall flow. The level of cohesion aligns well with the descriptors for Band 7.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Phrases such as 'self-esteem', 'society's validation', 'social media marketing', and 'societal norms' demonstrate an appropriate command of topic-specific language. There are also successful attempts at less common lexical items like 'distinguish', 'discrimination', and 'artificial ways'. While there are a few minor lexical inaccuracies or awkward collocations—such as 'enormous beauty products' instead of 'a vast array of beauty products'—these errors do not impede communication. The vocabulary deployed is adequate to convey the intended meanings clearly and effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. The writer successfully employs subordinate clauses and conditional elements, such as 'This practice stems from two reasons: a lack of self-esteem and a desire...' and 'In order to avoid such treatment, older people started relying...'. There is good control of punctuation and grammar overall, with frequent error-free sentences. Minor slips occur, such as 'enormous beauty products' affecting collocation and slight awkwardness in phrasing like 'paid millions for face transformations', but these do not impede understanding. The structural variety and accuracy comfortably support a Band 7 rating.
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