Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modernized world, people tend to pay uncountable amounts of money for their looks and beauty. I believe beauty and looks are core components of health and health is life. Although looks and beauty are meant to be natural components of a human body; people tend to pay large amoutns of money to artificially alter there looks which shapes their personalities indirectly. In my opinion this way of artificially altering peoples looks is very unprofessional and informal.

Beauty and looks are closely tied to overall physical and mental health, often reflecting inner vitality and lifestyle habits.

I believe that altering peoples look is unprofessional because it kind of destroys the fact that looks and beauty are meant to be natural. Youth is a stage of life everyone has to face, and all stages of life have their own beauty and purpose. Looking younger as an old lady isnt particularly a good round a bout to fixing their looks and beauty. All the stages of life tend to have there own fashions and purpose that are specifically supposed to be fulfilled within that time period.

Some people still might argue that using artificial tools to calliburate a persons looks is highly dependent on how one feels about them selves. And I agree, people do have their own opinions and justifications regarding their over all health and character and they might use any recource necessary for that wish to be fulfilled, which in this case is uncountable amounts of money for surgetical transfiguration of humans facial structure and dermatological requirements for the youth look.

There are a few major flaws and issues that might tamper one's looks forever and may be an irreversible change, which scares me since they might be unrecognizable and might not even fulfil their wishes of having the "Youth Look" but instead might tamper there charecter to looking worse than it originally had been. There have been alot of cases related to the argument I am presenting, some really famous TV stars such as Simon Cowell and Kim Kardashian did use the needs of artificial facial altering which lead to there faces and charecters being worse and irreversible.

In conclusion, this is a big-risk big-reward scenario and I highly dont recommend this. Instead I prefer the natural way and beauty of life; I believe that change is a core fundamental that no one can do anything about in their lives. And everyone must face change in their lives and should stick with the fate rather than changing the natural way and beauty of life. Where I am standing right now, I believe with proper care anyone can look good and "Young" without the use of artificial tampering which destroys the purpose of the time stages of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, and takes a clear overall position against them, concluding that they are a 'big-risk big-reward scenario' and recommending the natural way. Ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as referencing public figures like Simon Cowell and Kim Kardashian to illustrate the potential negative outcomes of artificial alterations. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise or become slightly repetitive—for instance, repeatedly emphasizing that 'all stages of life have their own beauty' across multiple paragraphs. The development is generally strong and relevant, satisfying the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0, and thus a band score of 6.5 is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion. Paragraphing is used, separating the introduction, body arguments, and conclusion adequately. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'I believe' and 'And' to start sentences (e.g., 'And I agree...'). Referencing is occasionally slightly unclear, and logical progression between some sentences can feel abrupt, such as the sudden transition between the second and third paragraphs. These features align well with the Band 6 descriptor, where cohesion can be faulty or mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'transfiguration', 'dermatological', and 'vitality'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('amoutns', 'there' instead of 'their', 'calliburate', 'recource', 'surgetical', 'charecter') and occasional word-choice inaccuracies (e.g., 'surgetical transfiguration of humans facial structure'). While these lexical errors occur frequently, they do not severely impede communication as the writer's meaning remains understandable. This fits the profile for Band 6 lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several recurring errors with homophones and possessive/contracted forms (e.g., 'there looks' instead of 'their looks', 'them selves', 'tamper one's looks', 'lead to there faces'), alongside punctuation issues. Although these errors are noticeable, the sentences are generally understandable and the errors rarely impede overall communication, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0.

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