Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this modern technology, there has been a drastique change in cosmetics and surgical treatments. People, are more obsessed to look younger than their age, this leads to a trend development of purchasing cosmetics and do skin surgeries. I believe that this trend has some benefits, however the drawbacks of this trend outweigh the advantages.
To begin with, as people grow older, they often become concerned about their appearance and want to look younger than their actual age. As a result, they purchase cosmetic products and undergo various surgical treatments to maintain a youthful appearance. This can improve their self-confidence and, in some cases, help them address certain skin-related problems. For example, many celebrities nowadays undergo cosmetic procedures to maintain their appearance, which can influence their followers to pay greater attention to their own looks and consider similar treatments. Therefore, cosmetic products and surgical procedures can provide certain personal and psychological benefits to individuals who are concerned about their appearance.
However, despite these benefits, cosmetic products and surgical procedures can also have serious consequences. They may damage the skin or cause other physical problems if they are used without proper guidance or performed incorrectly. This can negatively affect people's emotional well-being, particularly when the results do not meet their expectations. Moreover, dissatisfaction with their appearance may cause some individuals to avoid social interaction and isolate themselves from others. For instance, people whose plastic surgery does not produce the desired results may feel embarrassed about their appearance and avoid meeting friends or participating in social activities. Consequently, this can contribute to anxiety, depression and other psychological problems.
In conclusion, cosmetic products and surgical procedures can provide certain benefits, such as boosting confidence and addressing some skin problems. However, if they are used without proper guidance or performed incorrectly, they can cause physical and psychological problems and may lead to social isolation. Therefore, the disadvantages of this trend outweigh its benefits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The student addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of beauty treatments and surgeries, and clearly states a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as how celebrities influence followers and how failed surgeries lead to isolation. However, some arguments could be extended further to achieve a higher band. For instance, the psychological impacts are mentioned but could be explored with more depth regarding societal pressures. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the prompt effectively, establishing a clear stance from the introduction through to the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay displays a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and concluding with a summary. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as "To begin with", "As a result", "However", and "In conclusion". Paragraphing is handled appropriately, with clear visual breaks between sections. While referencing is mostly clear, a slightly more flexible use of cohesive ties could elevate the structure, placing it solidly within the Band 7 range.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, employing terms like "cosmetic products", "surgical treatments", "youthful appearance", and "psychological problems". However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as "drastique" instead of "drastic", and the awkward phrasing "trend development of purchasing cosmetics and do skin surgeries", where "doing" or "performing" would be grammatically more appropriate. Less common lexical items are attempted with some awareness of style, but occasional inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Complex structures are attempted with varying success, such as conditional and relative clauses ("for example, many celebrities nowadays undergo cosmetic procedures..."). There are a few grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text, notably the comma splice in the opening paragraph ("People, are more obsessed...") and awkward infinitive usage ("trend development... to do skin surgeries"). Nevertheless, the majority of sentences are understandable, and these errors only rarely impede communication, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor.
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