Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, it has become increasingly common to buy many products or spend a loarge propportion of money for treatments that helps them to look like younger. Although this trend has some benefits, I believe that it has more drawbacks due to financial burden or harmful effect on body.
On the one hand, buying many products or pay for treatment to look younger has a good this for individual because it boost the confidence of people.Since these products or treatments brighten up their face and become them more younger, they get more confidence to go anywhere and talk freely. For example, a older individual who has a white hair, may use the product which blackens their hair and allows them to meet anyone confidently. So, using these products, boost their confidence.
However, buying these produts and paying for treatments has negatively effect on people due to financially and bad effect on health. Although these products increase their confidence,these products has many chemicals which may be harmful for individual health. For example, a research suggest that, many people who pay for treatments just to look younger, their body cannot these products later due to harmful chemicals and face many health problems.
Morever, buying these products make the financial burden on individual due to high cost of these items. For example, a person who has low income salary, spend a large amount of to buy these products, may not be able to purchase some another important things.
In conclusion, Although these products or pay for treatments helps them to look younger may boost their confidence, I believe that due to toxic chemicals and high price it has bad effectg on individual health and income.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of using anti-aging products and treatments, thus presenting a clear overall position. The ideas presented, such as boosting confidence and the negative financial and health impacts, are relevant and extended with examples like older individuals coloring their hair. However, some arguments tend to generalise and lack deeper development, placing this response firmly in Band 6. For example, the explanation of health risks mentions chemicals and research generally without specific evidence. Despite these minor limitations in development, all core task requirements are fulfilled adequately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is coherently arranged into an introduction, two body paragraphs exploring opposite sides, and a conclusion. There is a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'However', 'Morever', and 'In conclusion' are used to structure the text, although some referencing is faulty or mechanical, such as 'become them more younger' and pronoun confusion in 'a research suggest that, many people... their body cannot [tolerate] these products'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to the task, including phrases like 'financial burden', 'toxic chemicals', and 'low income salary'. However, there are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation throughout the text, such as 'loarge propportion', 'pay for treatment' instead of 'paying for treatments', 'a good this', 'become them more younger', and 'bad effectg'. These lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score to Band 5.0 because the inaccuracies are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and concessive clauses such as 'Although this trend has some benefits, I believe that...' and 'Since these products or treatments brighten up their face...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb forms, article usage, and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'helps them to look like younger', 'an older individual who has a white hair', 'produts and paying for treatments has negatively effect', and 'make the financial burden on individual'. Because errors are frequent in complex structures and cause some strain for the reader, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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