Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In rencent decades, people spend enough to buy beatuy product and cosmetic surgeries this process help them to look younger. there are number of reason behinde play vital role. it bring prons and cons for the people as well as society.
To begine with, advancement of medical make convienient for the people to change their physical appericance. for example, before century there are method for the such as plastic surgeries but it takes sufficient time of people as well as money. also, this process they offer only wealthy. due to these berriar people can not take part of this process. Secondly, now rapidly growth and production of beauty products make it cheper as this circumstance people eventually buy this products.
On the other hand, undergo treatments put person's body on highly problem specially, natural body tissues will be rooted on deep it will complitely damage. The natural look of person's will never apperar. it will encorage person's to alter other part of body individually as well as society. possib;e that person will addicted of this. It will set negetive example amoung people. Additionally, spending lots of money for body creams will high chance to get allergtic damge skin also number of treatments has medicine for sewllow it will damage people other parts of body.
In conclusion, cosmetic treatments and body products often takes nourmous money of people which cause negetive impace on several way and imporant people health as well. also it leave negetive impace on society. It means there are disadvantages outweight advantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the pros and cons of buying products and treatments to look younger, ultimately concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The writer attempts to present a clear position throughout the essay. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and lack specific, well-supported examples. For instance, the mention of how treatments affect natural body tissues is vague and repetitive. Because the main arguments lack depth and clear extension, the response fits best within Band 5, where ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion. There is an attempt at logical organization using basic transition words such as 'To begine with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, overall progression is hindered by awkward phrasing, run-on sentences, and mechanical transitions. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence 'due to these berriar people can not take part of this process' where the pronoun reference is poorly integrated. Overall, cohesive devices are somewhat inaccurate and repetitive, placing this response at Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. There are frequent spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'rencent', 'beatuy', 'behinde', 'convienient', 'appericance', 'berriar', 'cheper', 'complitely', 'apperar', 'encorage', 'possib;e', 'negetive', 'amoung', 'allergtic', 'damge', 'sewllow', 'nourmous', 'impace', and 'imporant'. While the writer attempts some less common terms like 'cosmetic surgeries', the pervasive spelling and word choice errors frequently strain the reader and obscure meaning, which aligns with the descriptors for Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent, heavy grammatical errors, such as missing subject-verb agreement ('people spend enough', 'there are method', 'process they offer only wealthy'), incorrect verb forms ('undergo treatments put person's body'), and fragmented or run-on sentences ('this process help them to look younger. there are number of reason behinde play vital role'). These persistent errors often cause difficulty for the reader and reflect Band 4 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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