Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is indeed true that there are numerous cosmetic items available in markets as well as several procedure for antiaging easily available and purchase by people to look young. I completely agree to the statement and believe that it is a positive development. my opinion will be justified in the following paragraphs.

To begin with this trend helps to boost country's economy by generating good revenue through pharmaceutical companies. For instance, Retinol skin cream helps to to reduce wrinkles. It is available on many websites and easily purchased by many individuals, leads to increase companies revenue. Furthermore, increase demand can generate more employment opition. By this I mean that excessive demand of cosmetic items can require more manpower to work to regulate production. Thus helps to reduce unemployment.

Additionally, antiageing procedure enhance individuals personality and improve confidence. As a result, people can get success in their desire work field. It infact research shows that younger and beautiful personality boost self confidence. Moreover, skin treatments such as botox and fillers provide longer career span. For an example, many actresses receive botox treatment to look young and to maintain position in entertainment industry for longer duration.

All in all it can be said that easy availability to purchase items and treatment for younger look create multiple opportunities for people to get employment. As well this trend not only give longer career span but also boost country's economy and generate good revenue. It is also help to improve overall personality and success. Thus, I believe that this is positive development for country and people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student has adequately addressed all parts of the task by discussing whether buying anti-aging products and treatments is a positive or negative development, and has taken a clear position agreeing that it is a positive one. Main ideas are presented and supported, such as economic growth through pharmaceutical revenue and the psychological benefits of boosted confidence and longer career spans. For example, the student notes that 'Retinol skin cream helps to reduce wrinkles' and mentions botox treatments for actresses. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed and would benefit from deeper elaboration to reach higher band levels. There is a slight confusion in the opening paragraph regarding agreement, but the stance becomes clear as the essay progresses. Overall, the response meets the core requirements of Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression throughout. Paragraphing is used appropriately to divide the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally', although some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as 'For an example' and 'Thus helps'. Referencing is generally clear, though minor cohesive slips occur due to awkward phrasing. Paragraph breaks structure the arguments well, guiding the reader smoothly from economic points to personal confidence benefits. Overall, the organizational structure is sound and meets the criteria for Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to the topic, such as 'pharmaceutical companies', 'employment opition', and 'entertainment industry'. However, there are noticeable word-choice, collocation, and morphological errors throughout the text, such as writing 'several procedure for antiaging' instead of procedures, 'increase companies revenue' instead of increasing company revenue, and 'desire work field' instead of desired field of work. Spelling errors like 'antiageing' also appear. While these lexical inaccuracies do not impede communication, they reflect the limitations characteristic of Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The student employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over sentence structure with attempts at relative clauses and conditional-like ideas. However, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors are present. Examples include missing articles and pluralisation issues such as 'easily available and purchase by people', subject-verb agreement issues like 'Thus helps to reduce unemployment', and missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences ('my opinion'). Punctuation slips are also evident. Although these errors occasionally cause minor distraction for the reader, the meaning remains largely clear and communication is not severely impeded. This profile aligns well with Band 6.

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