Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, it is a viable for indviduals to buy many skin care products or affort a antiaging treatment that help them to look younger. This approach has both benefits and drawbacks. I believe, it has an extremely negative impact on people and this essay will explain reasons behind this statement.

The primary reason why buying too many anti-aging products has a detrimental effects on people is that these products contain carcinogens. These chemicals interrupt human hormones and enhance the growth of unwanted cells in the body. As a result, people might suffer with various serious diseases. For example, a simple facewash contains thousands of harsh chemicals which can enter in body and stimulates overgrowth of cells. Therefore, this type of products are bad for humans.

The negative effect of paying for anti-aging procedures is that these surgeries are very expensive. People are spending huge part of their income to do this type of treatments to look young. Consequently, they can loose their financial independence. Instead of spending this money on costly skin treatments, they can save this money for any future emergencies. For instance, in South Korea it is common for people to look young. They are spending hafty amount in this type of treatment and left with nothing in their pocket to spend for rest of their lives.

In conclusion, buying many anti-aging products has both advantages and disadvantages, but I believe it has an extremely negative impact. This is because, it contains harmful chemicals which can disturb cell growth and these procedures are expensive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of anti-aging products and treatments, ultimately taking a clear position that they are a negative thing. The main ideas, such as potential health risks from chemical ingredients and the high financial cost of procedures, are relevant to the topic. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and relies on sweeping generalisations, such as claiming that simple facewashes contain carcinogens that interrupt human hormones. While the writer covers the task adequately, the supporting arguments could be more nuanced and thoroughly elaborated to reach higher band descriptors. Nevertheless, a clear position is maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on separate main points (health and financial aspects), and a concise conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, the progression between sentences and ideas is sometimes hindered by mechanical or repetitive cohesive devices, such as the frequent use of 'This is because' and 'For example'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise, as seen in the conclusion where 'it contains harmful chemicals' refers back to the plural concept of buying products. Overall organisation is clear, but cohesive devices require more flexibility and precision.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'carcinogens', 'detrimental effects', and 'financial independence'. However, there are numerous word choice and spelling inaccuracies throughout the text. For instance, 'viable for indviduals' should be 'viable for individuals', 'affort a antiaging' contains a spelling error and a grammatical mismatch, and 'hafty amount' should be 'hefty amount'. Furthermore, phrases like 'loose their financial independence' misuse 'loose' instead of 'lose'. These lexical errors show a lack of precise control over less common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional and relative clauses ('The primary reason why... is that...'). However, the text contains a notable frequency of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Examples include article errors ('a viable', 'an antiaging treatment'), subject-verb agreement issues ('this type of products are bad'), preposition misuse ('enter in body'), and tense/infinitive errors ('to do this type of treatments'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur regularly and demonstrate limited control over complex sentence structures compared to the requirements of Band 7.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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