Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, due to significant advancements in medical field, a number of treatments are available to improve human health. however, some individuals always want to look younger. To do this, they have to go through with different kind of surgeries and sometimes they buy facial products. This approach has an adverse affect on their health.

To begin with, after getting this type of treatments, they may face problem related to their skin, which can have a harmful impact on their overall health. For instance, It can cause skin cancer. Therefore, their health may significantly affected by these treatments. Moving further, On some occasions it can be generally seen that these patients lose their natural beauty after surgeries. This is because everyone has a distinct skin tone and all skins are not suitable for plastic surgery. As a result, they can have a some marks on their face, which may affects negatively their overall personality.

In addition to this, To do this, doctors have to spend excessive amount of time and it increases the workload in health care. Consequently, other serious patients who actually have some issues related to heart or bones may have to wait longer to get medical care. Therefore, it can creates extra amount of work in hospitals.

In conclusion, although some people get this kind of treatment to look more attractive, it can not only creates health problems for themselves but also may have extra burden on medical sector. Hence, These individuals should avoid these kind of practices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger is a good or bad thing, clearly stating a negative position from the beginning. The writer provides reasons, such as adverse health effects like skin cancer, the loss of natural beauty, and the increased burden on the healthcare system. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly regarding the strain on hospitals, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The position is maintained throughout the response, and relevant examples or explanations are given, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor where all parts of the task are addressed with relevant ideas, though some remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, such as individual health risks versus societal and healthcare impacts. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition phrases like 'To begin with', 'Moving further', 'In addition to this', and 'In conclusion'. However, some of these transitions and referencing mechanisms are mechanical and occasionally faulty, such as the pronoun use in 'It can cause skin cancer. Therefore, their health may significantly affected'. While the logical progression is generally maintained, the frequent structural missteps in cohesion place this response firmly at Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate main ideas about health, surgeries, and societal impacts. There are attempts at less common lexical items such as 'contemporary era', 'significant advancements', and 'adverse affect'. However, there are noticeable word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'medical field' missing an article, 'affect' instead of 'effect', and awkward phrasing like 'other serious patients'. Furthermore, repetition of words like 'treatments', 'surgeries', and 'health' restricts the range of vocabulary. These inaccuracies and limitations reflect the Band 6 descriptor, where the vocabulary is adequate but contains errors that occasionally show lack of precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating clauses with 'because', 'although', and relative pronouns. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the text. Examples include lowercase beginnings after periods ('however, some individuals'), missing auxiliary verbs in passive constructions ('may significantly affected'), incorrect prepositions or verb complements ('go through with different kind of surgeries'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('it can creates extra amount of work'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the control required for a Band 7, making Band 5.5 a fair representation of the current grammatical accuracy.

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