Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern era, looking good has now become everyone's priority. It is evident that people buy multiple products or invest in treatments that make their bodies younger. This approach has detrimental impacts. I will elaborate on the reasons and suitable illustrations in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, one major drawback is the impact on physical and mental well-being. Certain anti-ageing treatments manipulate the natural processes of our major organs, such as the kidneys, liver, and heart, to make the skin look brighter and younger. Additionally, these products often disturb psychological health by creating unrealistic expectations about physical appearance. For example, individuals who constantly compare themselves to celebrities and other famous figures on social media may feel pressured to look attractive and younger. Thus, this approach manipulates our physical and mental processes.

Furthermore, another major negative impact is the financial burden associated with anti-aging products. The medicines, treatments and procedures cost a large amount of money as they use modern equipment and international medical products. Consequently, many people travel abroad to achieve wrinkle-free skin and a brighter face, and to treat their grey hair, rather than saving for a better future. For instance, many middle- class people invest a huge portion of their income in Botox treatment, face fillers, and injections to look impressive. Hence, these treatments are expensive and cause financial hardship for people.

To recapitulate, although these treatments improve our appearance. However, excessive dependence can affect our bodies and minds by interfering with the functioning of the organ systems and pressuring us to look good. Additionally, it causes a financial burden on their pockets due to its high cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position that anti-ageing products and treatments have detrimental impacts. The ideas presented are generally relevant, such as the discussion on physical well-being and financial burdens, which allows the response to meet the requirements of the lower band fully. However, to move into higher bands, some of these ideas need deeper extension and more robust support. For instance, the claim that treatments manipulate major organs like kidneys and livers lacks specific explanation or scientific backing, remaining somewhat generalised. Furthermore, the conclusion mentions that treatments improve appearance, but this counter-argument is introduced too late without adequate exploration, showing the uneven development typical of this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression throughout the paragraphs. Information is structured reasonably well, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs discussing physical and financial impacts, and concluding with a summary. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'Hence' are employed to connect ideas, though some transitional phrasing feels slightly mechanical or formulaic. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct main points. To achieve a higher band, referencing and overall cohesion need to be managed more fluidly and less predictably, avoiding abrupt transitions such as the grammatically fractured concluding sentence fragment beginning with 'To recapitulate, although these treatments improve our appearance. However...'

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'detrimental impacts', 'psychological health', 'wrinkle-free skin', and 'financial burden'. Communication is clear despite some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'treatments manipulate the natural processes of our major organs', which sounds slightly unnatural in this context. There are also minor awkward phrasings like 'cause a financial burden on their pockets'. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate throughout the essay. To reach a higher band level, the student needs to demonstrate more precise control over sophisticated vocabulary and less common collocations with fewer awkward expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'Individuals who constantly compare themselves...' and 'Consequently, many people travel abroad to achieve...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly the fragmented structure in the conclusion: 'To recapitulate, although these treatments improve our appearance. However, excessive dependence can affect...' where a dependent clause is punctuated as a full sentence alongside a transition word. Minor errors in prepositions and article usage also occur occasionally. However, these errors do not impede communication. To attain a higher band, the writer must produce a greater proportion of error-free sentences while maintaining a wide variety of complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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