Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There has been a recent trend for people to buy a lot of products or pay for treatments with the aim to look younger, this is bad as it has resulted in the death and indebtedness of so many people.

This sudden urge to look younger and not get old is of major concern, few years back, people took pride in the fact that they are aging, they embraced the process and enjoyed every bit of it. But this is not the case presently, so many anti-aging creams, supplements and herbs are being marketed. Also there are medical procedures like face lifts to remove wrinkles on the face. These cosmetic treatments and procedures has resulted in the untimely death of so many, the products has also caused a lot of health problems and disablities, for example there has been a rise in cancer, kidney and liver failure, which is as a result of these beauty products.

Additionally, these procedures and products are not cheap, they are extremely expensive. So many people had to take loans which they are unbable to service. The rise in their debts results in depression that can lead to suicidal tendencies. People should learn to love themselves the way they are and avoild bullying others based on their physical looks.

To conclude, it is important for people to appreciate and love themselves the way they are, lack of self love is why people go in debt and can die due to the use of products and treatments that make them look younger which is not a good thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by establishing a clear position on whether the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger is a good or bad thing. The writer argues strongly that it is a negative development, citing severe consequences such as death, health complications, and heavy debt. While the main ideas are relevant and generally easy to follow, some points suffer from under-development and over-generalization. For instance, the assertion that cosmetic procedures commonly lead to cancer, kidney failure, and widespread fatalities lacks specific support or nuance. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to extend and support these main ideas with more precise explanations or concrete examples rather than relying on extreme generalizations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through body paragraphs focusing on health risks and financial burdens, to a final conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, as each main idea is separated into its own logical paragraph. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or slightly faulty, such as in the opening sentence where comma splices link distinct clauses instead of utilizing effective cohesive devices or conjunctions. Furthermore, referencing and transitional phrases between sentences could be managed more smoothly to show a fully natural flow. To achieve the next level, the writer must refine the use of cohesive devices to ensure seamless progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts relating to aging, cosmetic treatments, and financial debt. There are clear attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'indebtedness', 'disablities', and 'suicidal tendencies'. However, the vocabulary is accompanied by noticeable spelling errors, such as 'unbable' and 'avoild', as well as minor word-choice and collocation slips that indicate limited precision. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to expand their lexical range with more sophisticated, less common items while maintaining greater accuracy in spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms, alongside frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are noticeable punctuation issues, specifically run-on sentences and comma splices in the introduction and second paragraph, such as 'look younger, this is bad' and 'procedures has resulted'. Furthermore, issues with subject-verb agreement occur, as seen in 'the products has also caused'. Attempts at complex structures are often faulty. To progress to a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms with improved control over grammar, punctuation, and agreement rules.

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