Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Thesedays, all the individuals are varied about their age. In recent time, there are numerous products and treatments are introduced which help the folks to look like a younger. This development has both good and bad effects and this essay will discuss why I partly believe that it is a both good and bad development because people can live longer and wast of money, respectively.

The first and foremost reason is that it hepls the individuals live for a long time. This is because when people buy any pills which is create for improve the immunity. Then, it hepls to enhance the immunity power of th people. Hence, it gaves the long life to the perosn who buy this product. For intence, after 40s , there are various person who buy the insulice a d immunitytables which are used for controling the suger level in the people who are affected with the suger diseases. As a result, if the suger level is maintain, then individuals get a enery and they can automatically look like a younger .That is why people buy this kind of products and treatemets .

On the other hand, there are various factors which show that it is a negative developement such as wast of money. This is largely because people spend huge amount of money for look like a younger.For example , folks spend their money on plastic surgeries for just looking good not for any thing else. Moreover, the famous actors also buy numerous products which help them to just look younger and also create more diseases such as dark blood and heart problems, which is completely wast of money.

In conclusion, Although there are various factors which show it is a good developement such as improve the immunity power and energy, its also a waste of money when people spend on plastic surgeries and just for good looks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of products and treatments designed to promote a youthful appearance. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion around immunity, sugar levels, and insulin is tangential and fails to clearly link back to the core concept of looking younger. While a position is presented in the introduction, the arguments lack sufficient elaboration and real-world clarity, relying on repetitive statements such as 'help them to just look younger' rather than thoroughly exploring the social or psychological implications of anti-aging trends. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to present fully extended ideas with more relevant and coherent supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, such as the benefits versus the drawbacks. However, cohesion is frequently mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers like 'The first and foremost reason', 'This is because', and 'On the other hand'. Furthermore, referencing and logical progression within sentences can be faulty, such as when transitioning abruptly from blood sugar management to energy levels. To achieve a higher score, the writer should employ a more flexible and less formulaic range of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts to use less common items, but this results in noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation, such as 'varied about their age' instead of concerned, 'wast of money' instead of waste of money, and 'dark blood'. There are also frequent spelling errors, including 'Thesedays', 'hepls', 'perosn', 'intence', 'insulice', 'suger', and 'developement'. Although communication is generally maintained despite these flaws, the lack of precision and lexical control restricts the response. Improving word choice accuracy and expanding the range of functional vocabulary will be essential for progression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled complex forms. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the essay, such as 'numerous products and treatments are introduced', 'pills which is create for improve', and 'it gaves the long life to the perosn'. Additionally, punctuation and prepositional patterns within grammatical structures show persistent inaccuracy. While these frequent errors can occasionally cause some difficulty and strain for the reader, the meaning of basic sentences remains generally decipherable. Greater control over complex sentence patterns and reduced error frequency are required to advance.

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