Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is undeniable that a considerable proportion of individuals invest a large sum of money on beauty treatments and various cosmetic products to enhance apperance and look younger. I believe, peoples making efforts to look better is a positive development because of this they will feel more confident and it will enhance their strength to stand out strongly. This essay will discuss both the aspects before reaching a reasoned conclusion.

To begin with, One of the main reason that makes the cosmetics and skin treatments positive development is largely because it not only encourage person to go out and be more social but also build their confidence on highr level. It helps to overcome the fear to face people and develop the strength to stand out more powerfully. For Instance, In recent years, individuals are putting themselves in cage such as their house because they do not feel enough confident to face other people because of several reasons as scars, uneven skin tone, pigmentation etc. As a result, By applying those product or by doing those procedures, they will more confident and strong. Therefore, it is evident that it is a postive growth.

Furthermore, Another vital and effective reason is people starts loving themselves. A large amount of individual start hating their own personality because of some problem on their body. Due to this they forgot to love themselves and starts blaming ourself. For example, A person born with more serious problem always blame himself and did not make any efforts to get better and ultimately, the person will start hating himself. As a result, when people welcome those treatments or products in their life, they will again start loving themselves. Hence, it is clear that it is better for the growth of people.

In conclusin, i l the main issue is not that it is a good or bad thing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially and presents a position that is somewhat unclear. While the introduction states that looking younger through treatments is a positive development, the essay struggles to fully develop these ideas. The main points regarding confidence and self-love are introduced, but they remain limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive arguments rather than deep exploration. Furthermore, the final conclusion is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence, which prevents the response from fully resolving the prompt. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to present fully developed ideas with extended explanations and maintain a clear, consistent position from introduction to conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation with attempts at paragraphing, but the essay lacks a clear overall progression. The response uses some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore', but referencing and transitions are frequently mechanical or inaccurate, as seen in awkward phrasing like 'because of this they will feel more confident'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the abrupt, unfinished conclusion disrupts the logical flow of the text. To improve, the writer should ensure that cohesive devices are used accurately to guide the reader smoothly through the argument, and ensure that every paragraph, especially the conclusion, is brought to a complete and logical close.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to communicate basic ideas about beauty treatments. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'pigmentation', 'cosmetic products', and 'enhancement', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word form, spelling, and word choice, such as 'apperance', 'peoples making efforts', and 'postive growth'. These lexical inaccuracies occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range and demonstrate greater control over word formation and spelling, using vocabulary with more precision and natural collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple or repetitively structured complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'One of the main reason that makes', pronoun errors like 'starts blaming ourself', and incorrect article usage. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to increase their control over basic grammatical structures, improve tense consistency, and reduce errors in agreement and singular/plural forms to ensure clearer communication.

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