Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, people are more spending money on buying a lots of expensive products and doing treatments to look young. I believe this is welcoming development. which makes them feel more confident and beautiful. My inclination will be elucidated in the further paragraphs.

There are lots of factors that people are more consious towards their beauty and look, which is very common now a days. In these society, folks are more investing to make themselves better, comparing them with others and trying to be more beautiful. They're changing their body by doing treatments specially whom who are in the film industry. For example, A famous TV star Rakhi Savant had done other lips treatment to make them in perfect shape. she already had a lot of treatments before. As a result, she looks younger than her age and getting lots of work in this industry, also she is becoming a role model for many people and they are following her lifestyle.

Diving deeply in to this, there are lots of youngsters, who belongs from middleclass family, watching celebrities and their rich lifestyle, they're also start doing the same. Such as buying costly products, and doing such skin treatments to look perfect. Especially someone who also wants to be a TV Star or a model. they are doing treatments to look young and beautiful. For instance, I am very passionate about modeling, and deeply invested in this field. I recently booked an oppointment with skincare specialist and start doing skincare routine which speicalist suggest. I get inspired by ads and celebrity's lifestyle and changing myselves to be more beuatiful by using these products.

To conclude, I strongly believe that this is very good habit to spend money on themselves to look young, specially who want to be a TV start or model.It helps to boost your confidence and look better. Just make sure to not spend a lots of money on these things only but also invest in some useful things which helps them to grow in laler in their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that the trend of buying products and treatments to look younger is a positive development. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. While the writer attempts to support the position using both general society observations and a personal example, the arguments lack depth and extension. For instance, the mention of the celebrity Rakhi Savant and the personal anecdote about booking a skincare appointment are briefly introduced without thoroughly exploring the broader implications of the phenomenon. Some ideas tend to over-generalise or drift into repetitive statements about wanting to look like a TV star or model, which keeps the task response profile at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays some overall organization with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, establishing a coherent overall arrangement. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as societal trends versus personal experiences. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Words and phrases used to guide the reader, such as 'Diving deeply in to this', feel awkward and unnatural. Furthermore, referencing and pronoun use can be confusing at times, such as in the sentence 'specially whom who are in the film industry' and 'someone who also wants to be a TV Star or model. they are doing treatments', where sentence boundaries and logical links are blurred.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used represents a limited but minimally adequate range for the task. The writer attempts to use less common items and topic-specific terminology, such as 'treatments', 'celebrities', and 'skincare routine', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable word choice, collocation, and spelling errors. Examples include 'consious' instead of conscious, 'oppointment' instead of appointment, 'laler' instead of later, and awkward phrases like 'doing other lips treatment' and 'doing such skin treatments'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling slips occur frequently and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, characteristic of this lexical band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on basic sentence forms alongside attempts at complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There are noticeable errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'people are more spending money', 'who belongs from middleclass family', 'they're also start doing the same', and punctuation errors such as sentence fragments ('which makes them feel more confident and beautiful.'). While the meaning is generally retrievable, frequent grammatical errors in basic and attempted complex structures require the reader to decode the phrasing, placing this grammar performance squarely at this level.

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