Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Well, good looks give confidence to people. If you are confident enough, you can achieve anything in life with a possitive midset. Nowadays, it is possible to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. In my view, it is a good thing. In the following paragraph, I will discuss the positives of this matter.

To begin with, people are working hard to buy things that make them happy. As I said, confidence matters a lot for everyone and people feel confident if they look good. Many actors and actresses are paying handsome money to look younger. They use some cosmetic surgery or plastic surgery. After this surgery, actresses are getting movies which is a positive sign. Sometimes, these surgeries will fail that could ruin their careers too. Apart from this, we have many skin care products available in the market and Korean products are the winner. Because of this products, people are having less issues regarding under eye dark circles and wrinkles.

Furthermore, plastic surgery is very helpful to humans who have lost or burnt their body parts in an accident. For example, my cousin burnt his arm from hot water and to remove the burnt patches doctor has done multiple plastic surgery on his arm.

However, there is a downside of this treatments too. Firstly, it is expensive. So, everyone could not afford this as a result people will enage in bad things such as robbery. Secondly, these treatments make difference between rich and poor people which increase dicrimination.

Overall, it is a good thing for people to buy products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position on whether buying products or paying for treatments to look younger is a good or bad thing. The main arguments are relevant, with the writer noting psychological benefits like confidence as well as practical applications such as reconstructive surgery for accidents. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the notion that people might engage in robbery due to the expense of treatments is underdeveloped and lacks logical support. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to extend and support all ideas more thoroughly without relying on generalisations, ensuring every point made is fully reasoned and explained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct points, such as general benefits, medical applications, and financial downsides. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, relying on repetitive transitional phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun shift in 'help them to look younger'. To achieve a higher level, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure smoother logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's perspective on cosmetic procedures and skincare. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'reconstructive' or specific references to 'wrinkles' and 'dark circles'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'handsome money' instead of 'a large amount of money', 'because of this products' instead of 'these products', and spelling issues like 'possitive midset' and 'enage'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a restricted lexical control. To improve, the writer should focus on natural collocations, accurate word forms, and careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures like 'If you are confident enough, you can achieve anything'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as article omission and plural agreement issues in 'doctor has done multiple plastic surgery' and 'this treatments'. While these errors occur, they rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To move up to the next band, the writer must demonstrate greater control over complex structures, ensure consistent subject-verb and noun-modifier agreement, and produce a higher frequency of error-free sentences throughout the entire text.

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