Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary world, people are more concerned about their appearance and use such products and treatment which help them to look younger. In my opinion, this trend is really beneficial for individual as it gives more self-confidence and also for economy as it creates significant employment.

On the one hand, the primary reason why this trend is more beneficial is that looking younger is profound impact on person's psychological state. Physical appearance directly reflects on individual's self-esteemed level. Younger look enhance person's self confidence and reduce their anxiety level. For example, the people who usually go under such anti-aging treatment or use such skincarer product feel more motivated and successfull in their personal and professional life. Thus, to invest a money in such treatment feel them valuable and eventually it is good for their mental well-being. Admittedly, people also get side-effects by using unadequate items which sometimes even cause severe skin diseases. So, this industry still have huge scope of improvement.

On the other hand, this phenomenon also helps to boost our economy. People's inclination towards these products encourage many cosmetic companies to pump more money in these market. For instnace, there are several companies who are investing huge capital in the research, manufacturing, and marketing which requires significant workforce and eventually generates employment for thousands people.

To sum up this, I firmly believe that this trend is beneficial for many people. If such treatment can be a reason to get enormous self-confidence in life and also supports in the growth of economy then people should leverage this people should leverage from this trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position from the introduction through to the conclusion. The writer successfully discusses both sides of the issue—the psychological benefits for the individual and the economic advantages for the industry. However, some ideas remain under-developed or briefly stated. For instance, the counter-argument regarding side effects and unadequate items in the second paragraph is introduced but cut short rather than fully explored. To move towards higher band descriptors, the writer needs to extend and support all main ideas with more fully elaborated explanations and concrete examples rather than general assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear central topic introduced in the opening paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' sections to structure the arguments. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'For example', 'Thus', and 'Admittedly', though the referencing and linkage are occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, as seen in 'To sum up this'. Progression is generally clear throughout the text, but more flexible and natural transitions between sentences would elevate the organizational quality to the next level.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items relevant to the topic, such as 'contemporary world', 'psychological state', and 'workforce'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form throughout the text. Examples include 'treatment' instead of treatments, 'self-esteemed' instead of self-esteem, 'skincarer' instead of skincare, 'successfull' with a spelling error, 'unadequate' instead of inadequate, and 'instnace'. These lexical slips do not impede communication, but they highlight the need for greater precision and control over word forms and spelling to reach higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and varied structures. There are, however, some recurring errors in grammar and punctuation. Issues include article omission and misuse, such as 'for individual', 'to invest a money', and 'for thousands people', as well as prepositional and structural slips like 'go under such anti-aging treatment' instead of undergo, and 'this industry still have' instead of has. While these errors rarely impede communication and represent a solid foundation, the frequency of basic grammatical inaccuracies prevents the attainment of a higher band.

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