Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue of looking older at early age has become a matter of considerable debate in contemporary society. People spend money behind surgery and medication to look young. I acknowledge the merits of alternative viewpoints. I firmly believe that they should avoid to this things and which yield significant long-term benefits for them.

First and foremost, the most compelling arguement is that having bad routine and eating habits has a detrimental impaact on person's skin. This is undoubtedly true becuase our whole body is depend on our health and prevention is often more effective and less expensive than treating any serious disease after they occur. For example, encoureging regular exercise and balace diets can reduce the problem of looking older and make skin very light and soft. As a result, people do not need to waste their money behind this kind of expensive treatments.

Moreover, another significant drawback is that the cost of buying this kind of products are really high and treatments also expensive that normal person sometime could not afford it. instead of wasting money behind this things, there are some home made alternative like doing steam bath or making some cosmetic things at home through wheat is really worthwhile to do. The most advantage of using this alternative is that it will not affect negatively because it will not have any chemical components that demage our skins. For example, there are so many news that we heared in which people might damage their body buy using different chemical made products. Consequently, having home made solutions are much better than demaging our body.

To conclude, whilst, chemical made products or expensive treatements has proven to e a good solution to look young, it devastating, destructive and harmful impacts can not be overlooked. It is therefore imperative that individual should find less expensive, healthy and transparent solution to protect their skins

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, taking a clear stance that people should avoid expensive anti-aging treatments and instead focus on natural, healthy habits. The main ideas are generally relevant, discussing how bad routines damage skin and why commercial products are costly and risky. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full elaboration. For example, while the writer mentions homemade alternatives such as steam baths and wheat-based cosmetics, these points are not fully explored or supported with clear, detailed examples. The position remains evident throughout the essay, meeting the requirements for addressing all aspects of the prompt while showing some limitations in the depth of idea development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, demonstrating a logical progression of ideas regarding health versus commercial treatments. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as lifestyle habits versus financial and chemical concerns. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. The writer relies on basic cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude', and referencing is not always clear, such as in the concluding sentence where pronoun agreement and transitions become slightly tangled. Overall, the flow of information is understandable, but the cohesive links lack flexibility and smooth integration.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating the main message, attempting some less common items such as 'detrimental impact', 'transparent solution', and 'contemporary society'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling that occasionally impede communication or distract the reader. Examples include writing 'arguement' instead of argument, 'impaact' instead of impact, 'depend' instead of dependent, 'balace' instead of balanced, 'heared' instead of heard, and 'demage' instead of damage. The writer also uses awkward phrasings like 'spend money behind surgery' and 'waste their money behind this kind of expensive treatments' instead of standard prepositions and collocations, keeping the range limited and minimally adequate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and relative clauses, but these attempts are frequently marred by errors. There are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, infinitives, and article usage, such as 'avoid to this things', 'disease after they occur', 'encoureging', 'cost of buying this kind of products are', and 'normal person sometime could not afford it'. Additionally, punctuation and sentence boundaries in the conclusion are problematic, leading to run-on structures that make the text harder to follow. While communication is not entirely blocked, the frequency of basic structural inaccuracies prevents the grammar from achieving a higher level of control.

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