Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is generally assumed that nowadays people have enough resources to buy products, and can pay for cosmetic treatments in order to look younger. I personally think that this trend has its own merits and demerits. I will explain this in the following essay.

Firstly, one of the good sides is that people feel confident compared to their fellows at their workplaces. For example, one is affordable, and he or she underwent a cosmetic surgery to look young, and on their arrival to their workplace they get praise and appreciation. Ultimately, they feel confident and a sense of fulfillment. This further boosts their energy, and they perform better in their task. Whereby, in return, they get promotion and incentives from their seniors. Another benefit of this development is that people who are interested in joining the media industry have a chance to get such treatments in order to get selected. As we all know, showbiz and the media select those who look good and handsome. Because people want to see handsome and young faces On TV shows. Therefore, aspirants can enhance their looks according to the selection criteria.

The downside of this is that those who can not afford such treatments feel low confidence, and they feel inferior in front of their peers. I personally experienced this thing when I was working in a media house. Those actors who were already rich used to buy quality products and treatments from their skin specialists, and I observe that junior actors who belonged to humble backgrounds felt inferior, and their performances were never up to the mark.

To conclude, those who can afford such products and treatments have more chances to get selected in the media industry, and this gives confidence. However, people from humble backgrounds are unable to buy such products and they feel inferior in front of their peers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of using anti-aging products and treatments, presenting a clear position throughout. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For example, while the economic and confidence-boosting aspects for professionals and media aspirants are introduced, the explanation relies on slightly repetitive assertions rather than fully extended argumentation. The example of getting praise at the workplace and receiving promotions is somewhat generalised and under-developed. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to provide more fully elaborated, specific explanations and extend all main ideas with deeper analysis rather than moving quickly through examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement and logical progression, successfully bridging the gap between a standard band six and seven performance. The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, and the overall progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a conclusion is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Another benefit', 'The downside', and 'To conclude' are used to structure the text, though referencing is occasionally mechanical or repetitive, such as starting multiple sentences with 'For example' or 'Those'. The half-band achievement is reflected in the generally clear logical organization, while fully meeting the higher level requires more seamless, flexible transitions and a reduction in somewhat formulaic cohesive markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'merits and demerits', 'incentives', 'aspirants', and 'humble backgrounds'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as 'one is affordable, and he or she underwent a cosmetic surgery' and 'feel low confidence' instead of 'lack confidence'. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate enough not to impede communication, but instances of awkward phrasing prevent the vocabulary from achieving greater precision. To improve, the student should focus on natural collocations and refining word choices to express ideas more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct compound and subordinate clauses, such as in 'As we all know, showbiz and the media select those who look good and handsome.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including awkward relative clauses ('those who can not afford such treatments feel low confidence'), article omissions ('on their arrival to their workplace'), and awkward punctuation like unnecessary comma splices. These errors rarely impede communication, but they occur regularly throughout the text. To achieve a higher level, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over prepositions, articles, and clause structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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