Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In today's world there are huge amount of beauty products and beauty treatments available to maintain individuals younger look. Even though there are people who saying this is a good thing, i strongly disagree with that point because artificial beauty treatments may cause for health problems and waste of money. This essay will discuss them in detail with a summary.
To begin with, beauty treatments may cause different health issues in later ages. The reason for this is, some medical treatments are include pills and injections instead of external cream or theraphy. Huge body and facial side effects may happen in later since these pills and injections are create huge body and face transformation. For instance, one of my freinds, who recently did a face surgery to reduce her double chin causes to a cancer in later. That is why I belive that beauty treatments may affect our healthy worstly in future.
Another main point of that, huge beauty treatment expenses are kind of waste of money. Because, the treatment packages are really expensive and unaffordable. Human body is a uncertain thing which may lost in next second.
However, keeping our body clean and pleasant is really important but some medical treatments may damage the health. The beauty we with in born is a gift of nature.
To conclude, although beauty products give a better look, it may cause health problems.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance against anti-aging products and treatments, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument that beauty treatments cause cancer lacks credible generalisation or adequate support, relying instead on a weak personal anecdote. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, coming in at only 231 words. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to expand their main points with fully developed explanations and relevant examples while ensuring the minimum length is achieved.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some overall organisation, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but it lacks a clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent transitions like 'To begin with' and 'To conclude', and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence 'This essay will discuss them in detail with a summary.' Paragraphing is attempted, but some paragraphs are very brief and underdeveloped. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive links more naturally and ensure each paragraph contains a fully realized, logically connected argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are frequent word choice and word formation inaccuracies, such as 'younger look' instead of 'youthful appearance', 'external cream or theraphy', and 'healthy worstly' instead of 'adversely affect our health'. Spelling and lexical control are weak throughout, with phrases like 'huge amount of beauty products' and 'uncertain thing'. To achieve a higher score, the writer must incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary and improve precision in collocation and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at complex structures are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('beauty treatments may cause for health problems', 'pills and injections are create'), incorrect prepositions, and missing plural markers. For example, the sentence 'one of my freinds, who recently did a face surgery to reduce her double chin causes to a cancer in later' contains multiple structural and grammatical breakdowns. Improving grammatical accuracy and incorporating error-free complex sentences will be essential for progression.
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