Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's modern era, a variety of advanced beauty products are available in the market, which help people to look younger. Therefore, it is stated that it's possible for people to look younger by using those products. In my opinion, this achievement has much bad effects on the society which will be explained in the following paragraphs.

One of the major reason is continuous usage, beauty products aren't a permanent solution. They show their benefits as long as they are applied on the body. Once stopped body begins to loose its benefits and comes to its orignal state. Due to this, people becomes addicted to these products. For instance, when people sees their best appearance by using some products, they tend to buy it every time to maintain their look, this way they become addicted because they cannot stop using it.

Another possible reason is its price, beauty products and treatments are usually very expensive and not everybody can afford it, especially these advanced products, which helps to look younger. People spent most of their month's income in order to maintain their looks and loose their financial stability. In Addition, some of these products and beauty treatments has a long-term effects on the body such as - major illness or diseases. For example, Recent studies showed that excessive usage of these products, uncertified products and beauty treatments caused various illnesses among citizens. which includes skin cancer, hair lose, nausea, and darker skin tone after a period of time.

In conclusion, although cosmetic products and beauty treatments can help people to look younger, still these are very expensive and aren't a permanent solution. As a result, I consider this as a bad advancement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting a clear position that anti-aging products and treatments have negative consequences. The main ideas, such as financial strain, addiction to temporary solutions, and potential health risks, are relevant to the topic. However, the development of these ideas varies; while the health risks are supported with examples like skin cancer and hair loss, the point about addiction is somewhat repetitive and under-developed. The writer successfully meets the requirements of the task by exploring both economic and physical drawbacks, which reflects a sound overall understanding of the prompt while showing potential for deeper extension of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. The writer uses basic paragraphing effectively to separate distinct ideas, such as financial impacts in one paragraph and health concerns in another. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences, including phrases like 'One of the major reason is' and 'In Addition'. However, referencing and cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. For instance, transitional phrases could be varied more smoothly to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs, and some referencing within sentences could be tighter to avoid minor disjointedness.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their thoughts on beauty products clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'financial stability' and 'excessive usage', but these are accompanied by noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, form, and spelling. Examples include writing 'loose' instead of 'lose', 'orignal' instead of 'original', 'sees' instead of 'see', and 'hair lose' instead of 'hair loss'. Furthermore, phrasing like 'much bad effects' demonstrates a limited range of natural collocations. These errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score by highlighting a need for greater precision and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Notable issues include subject-verb agreement errors such as 'One of the major reason is' instead of 'reasons' and 'people becomes' instead of 'become'. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as a stray hyphen and fragment sentences like 'which includes skin cancer...', where a dependent clause is punctuated as a separate sentence. Articles and prepositions also show frequent lapses, which prevents the writing from achieving higher grammatical control.

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