Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Most of today's generations is careful on their looks/beauty while compared to older generations. In the past people were least bothered to spend money on their looks except those who are in film or modeling career. For them it's an important thing and therefore in past also they use to do many treatments for their body especially for their face to look younger. This was a mandatory aspects looking to their proffessions.
Nowadays, most of the ladies also prefer to do treatments and hence they look for different options depending on how they want to be looked. Moreover, it's also a cost. We see so many advertisements on televisions for marketing a different brand products & this is how the females are getting inspired/motivated. For eg my wife, she also uses the skin care products from a well known company. Most of the products are chemical based so there are chances of some reactions happeneing to their skin but it all depends on peron to person.
Some has delicate skin whereas some has rough so accordingly they select the products. My sister preferes to go to salon to do some treatments for better looks rather than buying some products and then applying by herselves.I think doing treatment is more expensive as we are dependant on what the specialist says. Nevertheless, females doesn't care of money as according to them they should look younger and moreover fit. I would not encourage this as anyways in later stage after becoming old we have to be in our natural looks so better not to spend enough money on buying products nor doing any expensive treatments.
In conclusion: for me its good thing if people are using products or pay for treatments to look themsleves as younger afterall looks is the most important in today's life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the prompt regarding whether spending money on looking younger is a good or bad thing, but it does so in a limited and somewhat repetitive manner. The writer manages to take a clear position by stating, 'I would not encourage this,' yet the development of ideas remains superficial. For instance, while the writer mentions advertisements, skin reactions, and personal examples such as his wife and sister, these points are not fully explored or extended to provide a well-rounded argument. Furthermore, the final paragraph presents a contradiction to the stated position by concluding 'for me its good thing,' which confuses the overall stance. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to present fully developed arguments with consistent reasoning throughout the entire essay, rather than shifting viewpoints at the very end.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay displays some basic organization, separating the introduction, body points, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs, and uses simple linking words such as 'moreover' and 'nevertheless'. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and the logical flow is frequently disrupted by abrupt shifts in ideas. For example, moving from the wife's skincare products directly into a discussion about delicate and rough skin types lacks smooth transitional support. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'Some has delicate skin whereas some has rough'. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or awkward, and the paragraphing does not always group related ideas effectively. To improve, the writer must ensure that ideas follow a logical sequence from sentence to sentence and that paragraphs have a unified, clearly stated focus.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, demonstrating basic communicative ability but lacking variety and precision. The student relies on simple terms and makes noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'careful on their looks' instead of 'careful about their appearance', and 'do treatments' repeatedly rather than using verbs like 'undergo' or 'receive'. There are also awkward phrasings like 'how they want to be looked' and spelling slips such as 'peron' instead of 'person' and 'preferes'. While the vocabulary chosen allows the writer to convey simple messages, these frequent lexical inaccuracies and the limited range prevent the writing from achieving a higher standing. Incorporating a wider variety of natural collocations and precise terminology would significantly strengthen this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical structure of the essay is heavily restricted, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement issues such as 'Most of today's generations is' and 'females doesn't care', as well as missing plural forms and incorrect preposition use, as seen in 'in past also' and 'on televisions'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as spacing issues after commas and periods. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a lack of control over even standard sentence patterns. To progress, the writer needs to master basic agreement rules, improve sentence construction, and reduce the density of grammatical errors across the text.
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