Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern era, people spend their hard earnings on the products or the treatments to look younger. While these treatments enhance an individual's beauty, it deteriorates their health, which makes it a bad thing.

Looking beautiful is everyone's dream and with the help of these products, people can achieve it. It boosts their confidence, which reduces anxiety. In major industries like cinema, media or marketing, people with good facial features are often hired. People do many types of treatments such as hair transplant or wrinkle reduction to look younger, which helps to avoid age discrimination and remains competitive in such industries. For instance, many actors over 50 still preferred as the main lead, thereby competing with young generation directly, whereas those who avoid these treatments are recommended for supporting roles. Therefore, individuals opt for these treatments to be relevant in the industry.

As these cosmetic treatments are not long-lasting, individuals have to subscribe to these services to maintain its effect. This detrimental habit puts a mental and financial strain on them. Moreover, the constant pressure to look good is exceptionally stressful as it develops a sense of insecurity and the constant denial of the concept of aging. Moreover, the risks involve in these treatments are very high, which can jeopardize the safety of the patient. For instance, many actors went under a knife but the results were not always meet their expectations. Furthermore, people completely rely on these products, thereby forgetting the role of diet and exercise, which is paramount to age gracefully.

In conclusion, while it helps to be the face of cinema or the media, it damages the health of a person and worse their conditions, which clearly indicates that it is a bad thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all parts of the prompt by discussing whether cosmetic treatments and anti-aging products are a positive or negative development, maintaining a clear position that they are ultimately harmful. Your main ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the discussion of the media industry and employment dynamics. However, your arguments show a slight tendency to overgeneralize, particularly when claiming that people completely rely on these products while ignoring diet and exercise, and some supporting points could be more thoroughly explored to reach the highest standard. Overall, the response fulfills the requirements for this level through its clear stance and relevant, supported ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. You use paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately, dedicating distinct sections to the advantages and disadvantages of anti-aging treatments. However, your use of cohesive devices sometimes leans toward being slightly mechanical or repetitive, as seen with the consecutive use of 'Moreover' to start sentences in the third paragraph. Additionally, referencing could be managed more smoothly, such as ensuring pronouns like 'its' and 'these' consistently point back to unambiguous antecedents, which keeps the flow at a solid level without reaching the flexibility of a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrasing such as 'age discrimination,' 'financial strain,' and 'paramount to age gracefully.' While your word choice generally communicates your meaning effectively, there are some minor lexical errors and awkward collocations that prevent a higher score, such as 'worse their conditions' instead of 'worsen their condition' or 'went under a knife' instead of 'went under the knife.' Spelling and word formation are mostly accurate, and these occasional flaws do not impede communication, placing your vocabulary use comfortably within this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You employ a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, demonstrating an ability to construct subordinate clauses effectively, as seen in 'While these treatments enhance an individual's beauty, it deteriorates their health.' However, you make some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as pronoun-antecedent agreement issues ('treatment... it deteriorates... their'), singular-plural mismatches ('the risks involve' instead of 'involved'), and missing or faulty verb forms ('did not always meet' instead of 'did not always meet'). These errors occasionally surface, but they rarely impede communication, representing a balanced mix of structures typical of this band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.