Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this era people are obsessed with their appearance, this has resulted in people cosuming numerous products and undergoing procedures so that they can look young. in my opinion, this is a negative thing and i will explicate the reasons for it in coming paragraphs.

On the one hand, individuals buy products that helps them slow down the effects of aging.For instance, availability of multiple skin products in market that enhances the skin tone and colour and drastically slows down wrinkling of skin. Many procedures facilitate people to alter something that they are insecure about. For example, introduction of botox has significantly changed the beauty market and an increasing amount of people are getting it done worldwide for wrkinled skin. This choice to alter certain features enable a person to be more secure in his own skin.

On the other hand, many of these products have adverse effects that are not often apparent.For instance, many skincare ointments that claim to reverse aging comprise of chemicals that are hazardous to the user. This can have detrimental effects when used for a long duration. Moreover, procedures such as botox alter the facial features, making it much more artifical looking. In addition, a society where this becomes a common practice, many individuals start becoming more insecure, leading to unecessary spendings on such treatments and family budgeting issues.

To conclude, although there can be some positive aspects of using such products, such as attainment of self confidence. It does come with disavantages such as harmful chemicals present in the product aswell as procedure altering the natural appearance. Common use gives rise to individuals who are not confident in their own skin, for these reasons, it is a bad thing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position on whether anti-aging products and treatments are a positive or negative development, which is maintained throughout the essay. The main body paragraphs discuss both sides of the issue, touching upon personal confidence on the one hand, and adverse health effects, artificial results, and societal pressures on the other. However, while all relevant parts of the prompt are addressed, some ideas remain under-developed. For instance, the point about boosting self-confidence is mentioned briefly in the introduction and conclusion but lacks deeper elaboration in the body paragraphs compared to the detailed arguments against these procedures. To reach the next level, the writer needs to extend and support all main ideas with more fully developed explanations and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the use of standard paragraphing throughout. Logical progression is established through transitional markers such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, referencing and linking within sentences can be imprecise, as seen in the concluding paragraph where fragments like 'such as attainment of self confidence' are incorrectly punctuated apart from the main clause. Additionally, some cohesive devices feel repetitive. To improve, the writer should ensure smoother transitions between sentences and more accurate punctuation around dependent clauses to make the flow of ideas more natural and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's arguments about aging, cosmetics, and self-esteem. The student attempts less common lexical items such as 'explicate', 'detrimental', and 'artificial looking', demonstrating an ambition to use a wider range of vocabulary. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word form, such as 'cosuming' instead of 'consuming', 'wrkinled' instead of 'wrinkled', 'artifical' instead of 'artificial', and 'disavantages' instead of 'disadvantages'. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect a lack of precision. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their resource and demonstrate greater control over spelling and less common collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use subordinate clauses and varied structures. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses, such as missing capitalisation at the beginning of sentences ('in my opinion', 'availability'), incorrect article usage ('in market'), and subject-verb agreement slips like 'products that helps'. Complex structures are occasionally faulty, such as the sentence fragment in the conclusion starting with 'It does come with...'. Despite these issues, the errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. To move up to the next band, the writer needs to produce a higher frequency of error-free sentences and exercise better control over punctuation and grammatical agreements.

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