Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In current generation there is an extreme urge to look younger. Some people buy multiple products while other people prefer to pay for treatments to look younger. I agree with the later one and would like to explain my point of veiw in this essay.

Firsly, there is no objection to acknowledge of advancements in the field of technology. Similarly, there are diverse machinery consisting of modern equipment have been made in aesthetic field. Additionally, there are prooven and researched modern techniques which are accepted globally. I think people should prefer to pay for treatments considering the modernisation. For Instance, Buttox injection which helps to tighten your skin in areas where you got wrinkles.

Secondly, there is a complete range of treatment available from laser therapy, injection therapy, ultrasonic hydrafacials, IV glutathion and PRP. If one can achieve the desired results in couple of sessions they should really go for it. For example, laser hair removal, PRP therapy to avoid baldness, a variety of hydrafacials for glow. Moreover, plastic surgery is showcasing excellent results to make people look younger: rhinoplasty, chin lift surgery, and liposuction.

On the other hand, people have been using the cosmetic products since ages but the results are not longlasting and desirable. There are list of side effects of these products like rash, redness, and acne. Some studies showed these products contain elements which are toxin to human skin.

On conclusion, I would suggest If one can afford and pay for treatment to achieve the desired results swiftly they should go for it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both products and treatments and clearly stating a position agreeing with treatments. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the advancement of technology and specific examples like laser therapy and plastic surgery. However, some parts of the response are under-developed or less fully addressed. For instance, the counter-argument regarding cosmetic products in the fourth paragraph touches upon potential side effects such as rashes and toxins, but this point remains somewhat superficial and lacks extension. Similarly, the specific mention of 'Buttox injection' and other examples are listed rather than fully explained to support the broader argument. To move to a higher band, the ideas need to be more fully elaborated with deeper explanations and more comprehensive exploration of both sides of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the argument using transitional markers like 'Firsly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand'. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct points, such as discussing treatments in the second and third paragraphs and products in the fourth. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the transitional phrases are occasionally misused or overly formulaic, such as 'On conclusion' instead of 'In conclusion'. Referencing and logical progression between sentences occasionally falter, making the flow somewhat disjointed in places. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices naturally, ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common and topic-specific vocabulary such as 'aesthetic field', 'ultrasonic hydrafacials', 'glutathion', and 'liposuction'. There are, however, some noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that occasionally require the reader to interpret the meaning. Examples include 'later one' instead of 'latter one', 'veiw', 'Firsly', 'prooven', and 'toxin' instead of 'toxic'. Despite these inaccuracies, communication is not severely impeded. To reach the next band, the vocabulary range should be used with greater precision and fewer slips in spelling and word formation, demonstrating better control over less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional clauses ('If one can achieve...') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement errors ('there are diverse machinery consisting of modern equipment have been made'), missing or incorrect articles ('the aesthetic field', 'a list of side effects'), and prepositional or structural awkwardness ('pay for treatment to achieve the desired results swiftly they should go for it'). Punctuation is also sometimes neglected or faulty, particularly in managing clause boundaries. To improve, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free sentences and exercise greater control over complex sentence structures.

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