Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
After considering the both pros and cons of anti-aging mythological concept that is growing drastically in society, I say the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of it. If I say that women are inclining towards it more than men, it would not be a exaggeration.
Undoubtedly, there are a lot of advertisements for products that claim that they can help you look younger. There are numerous lotions, ointments being promoted by many companies in order to boost their sale, But I have not seen any succes story in my life so far.
Moreover, many treatments to control physical aging effects are also undergoing nowaday. That includes anti-aging surgeries, infections to make your skin uplifted.
In my view, this is a natural phenomenon that is beyond the control of anyone. Simply saying, no one can control nature. There would be horrible implifications if someone goes against nature. These hypothetical thoughts are leaving negative impacts on the health of the individual. some times, it deals to uncurable diseases hat may lead you bankrupty.
I have one example in my neibhouhood who took this treatment that resulted in disformation of her face. Because of that she lost her confidence going out in society and meeting with her social network.
In my view, the best way is to accept this natural phenomenon and focus on your diet and exercise.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
Your response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that the disadvantages of anti-aging products and treatments outweigh the advantages. You include relevant ideas, such as the lack of effectiveness of commercial lotions and the physical risks of invasive treatments, supported by a personal example from your neighbourhood. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack extension, and the essay falls short of the minimum word count requirement, clocking in at 224 words instead of the required 250 words. To reach a higher level, you need to expand your arguments with further elaboration and ensure you fully meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance stated in the introduction and a concluding summary at the end. Paragraphing is used to separate main ideas, such as commercial products versus surgical treatments. Nevertheless, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or abrupt, particularly in transitions like 'Simply saying' and 'some times, it deals to', and referencing between sentences is occasionally unclear. To improve, you should aim for smoother logical progression between paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You display an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'anti-aging mythological concept', 'implifications', and 'disformation'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that restrict your score, such as 'succes story', 'infections' instead of injections, 'deals to' instead of leads to, and 'bankrupty'. Additionally, spelling errors like 'neibhouhood' occur. To progress, you need to improve precision in word choice and ensure correct word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'After considering the both pros and cons... I say the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including article omission and prepositions, such as 'the both pros', 'a exaggeration', and missing capitalisation in 'some times'. While these errors rarely impede communication, they persist throughout the text. To achieve a higher band, you must increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences and demonstrate better control over grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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