Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Getting products and treatments to look younger is quite convenient for everyone in today's world. It is certainly helpful for people to regain their adult confidence back and being healthy even in their old age.

The first benefit of this is that it helps to give them confidence in their later age. When people start getting older, they could loose their self-cofidence in terms of dealing with social chaos, workplace job duties or importance in the family matters. However, if they look young in that age, it may increase their self-presentation in front of others. For example, a person with adult looks and experience of till life makes him or her stand out in the crowd and leave the long-lasting influnce on other youngsters. As a result, they walk-in confidently in any room.

Furthermore, having good looks not only rises old inidividuals' self-assurance, but also leads healthy lifestyle among them. These people have to follow some specific diets to maintain their skin after getting threatments as well as there are some restrictions on their eating habits. This healthy eating lifestyle also helps them to build their physic healthy and fit. For example, when an individual follows the dietery plans along with proper skin care routines, it would assist their looks, which would be wrinkle free and bright skin, and body with huge energy as compared to others of the same age, simultaneously. Therefore, there might be chances that they could live healthy life.

In conclusion, although the products and skin care treatments are expensive, people who can afford it, can become more confident and physically fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the benefits of treatments to look younger, such as boosting confidence and encouraging a healthy lifestyle, and acknowledging a drawback regarding cost in the conclusion. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which keeps the response at this level. For instance, while the psychological benefit of increased confidence in social and workplace settings is reasonably explained, the link between beauty treatments and a healthy lifestyle is somewhat generalized and repetitive. To reach a higher level, you would need to fully extend and support all main ideas with more precise examples and deeper exploration rather than relying on brief explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, successfully meeting the requirements of the lower band while demonstrating elements of the next. Information and ideas are generally organized in a logical sequence, supported by paragraphing that effectively separates your main arguments. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', but referencing and linking can sometimes feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'These people have to follow...'. To achieve a fully clear progression throughout, you should ensure that referencing words clearly link back to their antecedents and integrate cohesive devices more naturally without over-relying on standard transition formulas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying your message despite some limitations. You make attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'self-presentation', 'stand out in the crowd', and 'wrinkle free', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation. For example, expressions like 'loose their self-cofidence' (lose), 'adult looks' (mature appearances), 'till life' (daily life), and 'physic healthy' (physique healthy) show that your control of less common lexical items is inconsistent. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'cofidence', 'influnce', and 'dietery'. To move to a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary range, use precise word choices consistently, and minimize errors in spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, but they rarely impede communication. Examples of these errors include subject-verb agreement issues and prepositions, such as 'regain their adult confidence back', 'in that age' (at that age), 'rises old inidividuals' self-assurance' (raises), and 'live healthy life' (live a healthy life). You also have run-on or overly complex sentence constructions that lack accuracy, like the long example sentence in the third paragraph. To reach the next level, you need to produce more frequent error-free sentences when attempting complex structures and maintain tighter control over grammatical rules.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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