Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days many individuals are able to buy beauty products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. In my opinion, it is a bad aspect as using these products or treatment has more negative effect than positive.

Although, people can afford many cosmetic items to enhance their beauty and look young, these products are not natural and would be harmful for their health. These products are the bi-product of chemical reactions and may contain various unwanted ingredients which in long term will degrade the quality of skin and make it unhealthy. For instance, many creams which women use for make-up are made from the petroleum; it is an inorganic substance and will cause irritation to the skin when used for extended period. These products usually come with the label saying it should be used only for few hours , after that it should be washed or removed to be safe from its ill effect.

Additionally, there are various treatments avaliable in the market that claim to make people look younger. These treatments are not 100% percent safe as they cause numerous bad effects. While, many people use the hair treatment as one of the solution to keep their hair healthy, it has a negative effect. The hair will start to fall more if people discontinue it after some period of time. The rate of hair fall will drastically increase because of the chemicals used for the treatment.

In conclusion, the use of various product and treatments to look younger has many negative effect. Hence, they are the bad aspect and should be discontinued.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position that the use of anti-aging products and treatments is a negative development. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of this level. While the paragraph discussing chemical skincare products provides a relevant example regarding petroleum-based ingredients, the argument concerning hair treatments remains somewhat generalized and lacks specific supporting detail. The main position is maintained throughout the essay, and the ideas presented are generally relevant to the prompt, successfully fulfilling the core requirements of this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, such as skincare products and hair treatments. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or slightly faulty, particularly with transitional devices and referencing. For instance, phrases like 'Although, people can afford...' use punctuation that disrupts the flow, and referencing pronouns occasionally lacks absolute clarity. Despite these minor lapses in cohesive management, the overarching structure of the argument remains easy to follow for the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'inorganic substance,' 'bi-product,' and 'extented period.' However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as writing 'avaliable' instead of 'available,' 'bi-product' instead of 'byproduct,' and using 'bad effect' rather than 'adverse effect.' While these errors do not impede communication and the meaning is generally clear, the presence of frequent word-choice and spelling slips prevents the vocabulary score from reaching a higher level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at subordination and relative clauses. There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, such as missing articles ('made from the petroleum'), incorrect pluralization ('many product'), and unnecessary commas ('Although, people can afford...'). Fortunately, these structural and punctuation errors rarely impede communication, and the meaning of the sentences remains discernible. To progress further, the writer needs to increase control over complex sentence patterns and eliminate basic agreement and article slips.

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