Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days it has been noticed that majority of younger generation are spending so much on looking young or paying for the treatments which would stop their aging. In my opinion, doing this is not a beneficiary to an individual as it comes with several drawbacks.

To begin with, the first and foremost reason would be that it needs huge amount of money to buy such products. Many people spend their money in buying costly cosmetics such as anti-aging cream or face serum which would help them to avoid wrinkles on their face and help their skin to tighten up. These creams are just hyped for their benefits but in general, it is just degrading our skin's natural ability to glow and this might cause skin cancer because of certain ingredients. To add to this, there are some medicated injections are also available, that many of our generation kids use to look young. For instance, people use botox treatment, to enhance their structure of any part of their body they want. These botox contains high level of certain chemicals that might be very harmful to our body in near future.

Furthermore, there are some products that are sold in the market, to stop aging which people buy and consume it on daily basis. Such nutritional products are so costly, that one have to spend thousands on it very frequently. But, the major drawback of this is that if one will stop consuming it, there might be a side effects related to this which will affect an individual's health.

To conclude, spending extra on looking young and paying for such treatments is not at all useful to a person's own health, there are chances of getting health related problems in near future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear stance that spending money on anti-aging products and treatments is a negative development. You present relevant main ideas, such as the high financial cost of cosmetics, the potential health risks of botox injections, and the side effects of consuming nutritional supplements. However, while your position is clear throughout, some of your ideas remain partially under-developed. For instance, your point about the skin's natural ability to degrade could be extended with more specific explanations or examples. To reach a higher level, you need to fully develop all your supporting ideas with greater depth and elaboration rather than moving quickly from one point to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a conclusion. You make use of standard cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'To add to this', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader through your arguments. Nevertheless, your use of cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or formulaic. Referencing is sometimes slightly unclear, such as the pronoun 'it' in the phrase 'which people buy and consume it on daily basis', where the object pronoun is redundant. To improve further, ensure that your cohesive devices flow more naturally and that your referencing links smoothly without unnecessary repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'cosmetics', 'anti-aging cream', 'medicated injections', and 'nutritional products'. However, there are some noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies that prevent a higher score, such as writing 'not a beneficiary' instead of 'beneficial', and using phrases like 'generation kids' rather than a more natural alternative like 'younger people'. There are also minor awkward phrasings, such as 'enhance their structure of any part'. To elevate your lexical resource, you should focus on precision in word choice and ensuring correct collocations for abstract and descriptive concepts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, your control over grammar is inconsistent, featuring some errors in articles, plurals, and subject-verb agreement. For example, you write 'huge amount of money' instead of 'a huge amount of money', and 'there are some medicated injections are also available' which contains a double verb structure error. You also write 'one have to spend' instead of 'one has to spend', and 'a side effects' instead of 'side effects'. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to demonstrate the characteristics of this band. To achieve a higher score, you need to increase your proportion of error-free sentences and tighten your control over grammatical agreement and articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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