Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The topic related to the beauty products and treatments has been widely discussed among people of all age groups. As per my opionion, this is a positive development; especially, to look more confiedent and sharp with the face features. Furthermore, it will help to showcase the healthier and balanced lifestyle. The reasons are demonstrated in the following paragraphs.

In this contemporary era, a developement of laser and peeling treatment attracts people towards it. I believe which is an amazing thing, because few individuals are feeling less confident if they are having scars or acne on their face. with the skin options available handy in the markets and clinics, to change the face structure is more easier. Moreover, this is also an essential thing to maintain healty lifestyle, as people will feel less stress if they have a healthier and soft looking skin. For example, we have seen numerous youngsters dealing with depression or anxiety, if they have a skin disease. As a result , I think this is a great thing to buy more products and treatments related to skin.

On the othe hand, some poeple argue that naturality is a key thing for a human. They are not accepting an artificial development on their body. Some religion says human body is a god's gift, thus any skin treatment or products are not require for their face or body. A waste of money can be an another thing, which is why individuals believe it as a negative developement.

In conclusion, although few people will might be not in a favour of the skin products or treatments, I think people has to spend money for their face and body to look more younger and confident.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting both sides of the issue—the benefits of beauty treatments for confidence and the arguments regarding naturalness and cost. However, the development of ideas is uneven. For instance, the opening paragraph outlines a clear position that beauty treatments help people look more confident and showcase a healthy lifestyle, but these points are somewhat under-developed in the body paragraphs. The arguments regarding mental health benefits, such as dealing with depression, and the counterarguments about religious views or waste of money, are mentioned briefly rather than fully extended with detailed support. Nevertheless, the main message is clear throughout, placing the response solidly at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, such as the advantages of treatments in the second paragraph and the counterarguments in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is not always entirely clear. For example, transitional phrases like 'In this contemporary era' and 'On the othe hand' are used to structure the text, but the logical progression between sentences occasionally feels disjointed, as seen in the abrupt shift from laser treatments to stress management in the second paragraph. Pronoun referencing could also be smoother to connect ideas more naturally across sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'contemporary era' and 'artificial development'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that reflect this level. For instance, 'opionion' and 'developement' are misspelled, and phrases like 'naturality is a key thing' and 'to change the face structure is more easier' show awkward collocations and incorrect comparative forms. While these lexical errors do not seriously impede overall communication, they prevent the writing from achieving a higher score due to a lack of precision and control over less common lexical features.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as conditional and relative clauses, as seen in 'few individuals are feeling less confident if they are having scars or acne on their face.' However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including incorrect article usage ('a god's gift'), subject-verb agreement ('people has to spend'), and awkward syntactic patterns like 'I believe which is an amazing thing.' Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in 'As a result , I think', also occur. Although these errors are noticeable and require some effort from the reader to untangle, communication is rarely completely blocked.

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